1) Nice poem with a great insight to how depressed people feel and how some become alone. 2) I think you could really use some punctuation to help the poem flow. When I was reading it, I didn't know when to stop and when to let it flow. 3) I think there is still a piece missing from this poem. I feel like it needs something, although I can't tell you exactly what. Maybe a girl or someone who he pushed away. I think that would kind of make it more personal and heart felt. 4) Good overall poem, stick with it.
Great brief, poem. I love the imagery of a lover and daisies. Just wanted you to know I really enjoyed it, and I don't see much room for improvement, perhaps you can elaborate upon the same idea in a longer poem.
I like this poem; It's emotionally charged, but it isn't inward. Many people can connect to this terrible feeling of loving someone before they leave.I love the image of the mist. It creates a nice symbol within the poem, although I would have loved to see you reuse and elaborate on it. The idea of leaning on God is relate-able and contributes nicely to the poem. I do think a few punctuation marks would increase its flow and make it easier to read.
This is a great, heart-felt poem about someone you lost. I love the things you use to compare this person to in your similes and metaphors. They help create a strong image in my head.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 8:51am on May 09, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "