*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rebelcommando
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Silent Rain  
Rated: E | (5.0)
When I began reading, I was a little dissapointed that it wasn't a rhyming poem (I'm a bit biased towards those, I'll admit) but after the second "Drip. Drip." the poem started to pick up steam and catch my interest.

The reader begins to wonder the same questions as the person in the poem. You begin to wonder where the person is, why they are doing what they are, you begin making a story for yourself.

After about halfway through, you wonder the significance of the dripping, and when you finally reach the end, you are satisfied with the conclusion and it leaves the reader a little bit shocked and satisfied, in a way, because there is a touching conclusion which addressess all asked questions.



THAT BEING SAID, I feel that the main aspect of the poem that needs to be improved somehow would be the introduction. This poem takes a stanza or two to catch the reader's interest, and I've come across far too many poems that are simply overlooked due to a weak intro. This particular format reminds me of Frankenstein where on your first read, you are a bit confused as to what's going on, but on your second read-through, everything makes perfect sense.

I feel that this poem is very strong as is, but perhaps you could spread out the questions that are all just given at the beginning. For example, perhaps you could format it to be like

"Drip Drip..."Why are my hands cold? they...
"Drip Drip..."Why am I here? I feel like...

And then to conclude with "Drip Drip..." What is that sound? It's the sound of...
2
2
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
While it truly depends on the author, I find that my favorite horror stories involve a combination of supernatural beings and psychological horror, I find that recently anything that involves vampires end up being about love, which I find disgraceful based on what vampires used to be.

As for ghost stories, I find that this particular topic tends to be more for a younger audience and does not affect a more mature audience to the same extent. For zombies/serial killers, I find similar works to simply use excessive blood and gore to keep the reader intrigued, and these are truly not as terrifying as psychological horror.

That being said, I would recommend some sort of demon/psychological combination that leaves the reader questioning.

An example of this would be the movie "Season of the Witch" with Nicolas Cage. It combines demons, beings that are supposed to be more intelligent and evil than humans, and their desire to harm humans, which can be a gruesome combination.

I hope this helped, and I hope to read your finished story.
-Will
3
3
Review of Hawaii Calls  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I rated this 4.5/5 because of the lines

"To each and every degree
Of the fire volcanoes cast."

You speak of your soul in the first stanza. In my first readthrough, it took me some time to figure out how it flowed, However, after rereading, I considered "fire" to be a symbol of passion, which could relate to the soul.

For the second stanza, it portrays imagery of paths and footprints, and then concludes with the soul again.

Overall, a very good poem, and welcome to Writing.com

-Will
3 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rebelcommando