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Review of Hhh  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (1.0)
It seems like you've provided the text "Hhhhhhhhh" for review. Unfortunately, this text doesn't offer much substance for a comprehensive evaluation. If you were seeking a review of something more specific like a written piece, a book, or even a concept, I'd be more than happy to give you my thoughts on it. The more detailed your submission, the better the feedback I can offer.

If you're a budding writer, a review can be an invaluable tool. It provides you with different perspectives that can help you grow and refine your craft. Don't hesitate to present something concrete for assessment, whether it's a snippet from a story you're working on, a poem, or even just a simple idea you have for a narrative. I can offer both constructive criticism and positive feedback, both of which can be incredibly helpful on your journey to becoming an accomplished writer.

In any creative endeavor, including writing, feedback serves as a mirror reflecting your work from various angles. Sometimes it reveals facets you didn't even know existed, enabling you to improve your skills and reach towards success. So feel free to share something more detailed, and I'll do my best to provide you with a thoughtful review.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of SNOW  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece vividly portrays snow as a malevolent force in nature, transforming it from an inanimate object into an almost mythological character with a will and agency of its own. The structure of your writing adds to the tension, segmenting the story into a series of mini-vignettes that each further demonize snow. This adds a nuanced complexity to the narrative, making it as much about the environment's hostility as it is about the pilot's struggle for survival. The repetition of phrases like "Snow wasn't..." lends your writing a rhythmic quality that mimics the ceaseless, unyielding snowfall itself.

However, there are some areas that could be enhanced for better engagement. The story could benefit from a deeper exploration of the pilot's internal emotional state. The current focus is primarily on the external fight against snow, but layering in the pilot's emotional conflict could provide a more balanced and engaging read. Additionally, the writing might be strengthened by avoiding redundancy; words like "Snow" and phrases like "the pilot" are often repeated, and while some repetition is clearly a stylistic choice, there could be opportunities for synonyms or different sentence structures to add variety.

Also, the last line about snow burying the pilot "in a white grave that wouldn't reveal itself until Spring" is haunting but could be even more powerful with some tweaking. Perhaps consider making the conclusion punchier to leave a lasting impression.

The pilot's plight is presented as a man-versus-nature conflict, but there's room to further develop his personality or backstory. Giving readers a reason to invest emotionally in his survival could add another layer to the already thick atmosphere of dread and suspense you've constructed.

In my opinion, your work here certainly has the bones of a compelling story; it successfully makes snow feel as menacing as any human antagonist. It's eerie, atmospheric, and conceptually strong.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Life's a Ball  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "Life's A Ball," is a delightful yet poignant take on the impact of sports—represented metaphorically through balls—on relationships and domestic life. It combines humor and vulnerability to address a serious underlying issue that many can relate to.

Starting with the tone, it's playful and lighthearted but gradually becomes tinged with a sense of isolation and desperation. This nuanced emotional range adds depth to the poem, making it more than just a collection of rhymes. Your use of rhythm and meter makes the poem fun to read, much like a ball that bounces effortlessly.

The theme of spheres or balls dominating life is well-developed. It begins with the joyous occasion of a wedding, representing the proverbial 'ball' of a good time, and then delves into how different kinds of balls (football, squash, tennis, etc.) slowly fill up the lives of the male characters, eventually leaving the narrator feeling invisible.

You also touch upon the idea that a family's shared interests can sometimes overshadow individual needs. This is a crucial point, as it not only affects spouses but also the children who grow up inheriting the same tastes and hobbies. It's an open question whether the son, Paul, genuinely loves sports or is only following in the footsteps of his father—a subtle but significant point.

Your ending is powerful; it carries an emotional weight that contrasts with the lighthearted beginning. You transition from a yearning for escape from the 'spherical' to a near-desperate plea for a new planet. It's a bit exaggerated, yes, but it highlights the narrator's feeling of being marginalized in her own home.

The one area where the poem could possibly improve is in showing how the narrator tries to adapt or how her interests are being neglected. This could add another layer of complexity to the narrative.

Overall, your poem offers a rich tapestry of emotions, themes, and narrative twists that keeps the reader engaged. It's an excellent work that balances levity with depth, making it relatable on multiple levels.

WriterRick"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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Review of The Mighty Oak  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem "The Mighty Oak" encapsulates the life journey of an oak tree, reflecting its relationships with nature and humans. The narrative takes us through the various phases of the oak's existence—from the trials of its youth to its present existential challenge. The language is accessible and vivid, inviting the reader to engage empathetically with the oak as a living entity with emotions and experiences, almost personifying it.

The poem adeptly uses the symbol of the oak tree as a lens to examine human progress and its impact on the natural world. Through evocative imagery and occasional rhyme, the reader gains an appreciation for the tree's role in the ecosystem, housing eagles and playing with children. At the same time, the poem delivers a critique of human activity, pointing to our tendency to overlook the inherent value of the natural world.

I appreciated the recurring "Leaf" symbols as they provided a moment to pause and reflect on each stanza. This design choice fosters a sense of episodic storytelling, almost like chapters in the oak's life. However, these markers could be made more meaningful or perhaps be replaced by titles summarizing each phase for an improved sense of cohesion.

The poem also sheds light on activism in the context of environmental protection. It ends on a hopeful note, showing that human intervention can be both destructive and redemptive. This dual characterization of humanity provides nuance to what could have easily been a one-sided portrayal.

There is a moment of philosophical introspection in the end, where the poem stretches the idea of age and lifespan, comparing tree years to human years. It forces us to reconsider our perception of time and our role in the long stretch of a tree’s life.

If there's an area for improvement, it's in the meter and rhyme scheme. While the rhyme is engaging, the meter varies, sometimes disrupting the flow. Streamlining this could enhance the poem's lyrical quality.

Overall, the poem effectively merges natural history with social commentary, presenting a compelling narrative that prompts us to reconsider our relationship with nature.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Winter's Death  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem "Dying Winter" is rich in imagery and offers an intimate glimpse into the transformation from winter to spring. One of its major strengths lies in its attention to the details of nature—each scene painted in words is visceral and evocative. For example, the "sodden mosaic" of flattened grasses or the "boot heel mark a muddy daiquiri" bring the elements of the landscape to life, pulling the reader into the poetic universe.

Your use of contrasting colors like sepia and gray creates a world almost black and white, evoking a feeling of nostalgia or melancholy that's often associated with fading photographs or memories. This contrast serves as an effective metaphor for the battle between the dying winter and the approaching spring.

The wind is personified as argumentative forces "arguing back and forth," capturing the unpredictable and often harsh nature of weather changes. It serves as an apt metaphor for the larger cycle of life, a constant battle of elements and time. This is mirrored in the "temperamental debate of superiority" which is held between the departing winter and the oncoming spring. Nature's in-between states are excellently represented—winter "dawdles" while spring "creeps in."

The poem reaches a sort of climax when the pine tree gives in to wind and gravity, symbolic of the inevitable collapse of winter's rule. However, it also subtly incorporates an acceptance of death and rebirth, an eternal cycle punctuated by the "shatter on the shore" and the "flash of red" that breaks the monotony, signaling life and change.

One could argue, however, that the poem's richness in metaphors and similes can sometimes make the reading dense. Some verses could benefit from a more straightforward narrative to offer breathing room between the heavy scenes.

Overall, "Dying Winter" succeeds in weaving a complex tapestry of nature’s elements in transition, which can serve as a broader commentary on the cycles of life and death. It makes the reader anticipate the rebirth that spring will bring, yet also appreciate the stark beauty that winter has to offer—even in its dying moments.

WriterRick"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The note  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this deeply emotional and evocative piece of writing. I can sense the pain, regret, and sincerity oozing from each line. The protagonist’s voice is relatable, and the narrative flows smoothly, providing the reader with a powerful emotional journey.

The piece deals with themes of regret, loss, and the struggle to reconcile past mistakes. The rawness with which you discuss the character’s guilt and longing makes this letter feel incredibly authentic. Moreover, the story's framing—written as a letter to a departed loved one—adds a unique layer of intimacy. Readers are not merely observers but feel like they've stumbled upon someone's most private thoughts and regrets.

The details about the family—the son making the basketball team, adopting a dog, and so on—serve as an effective contrast to the underlying sadness of the narrative. These moments infuse the piece with humanity and relatability, making the pain all the more poignant when it resurfaces.

One aspect that stands out is the mention of the younger pastor with an "old soul." His role, while minor, lends an element of redemption or at least the hope for it. It also offers the protagonist an avenue for self-examination, compelling him to confront his mistakes and take a step—writing the letter—towards atonement.

However, the piece could benefit from more show rather than tell. For example, rather than merely stating that the protagonist broke down in church, a description of his emotional state might add more weight. Furthermore, I think the letter format can be limiting in conveying physical sensations or body language. But given that it’s supposed to be a letter, this limitation makes sense and may not need changing.

To summarize, this is a touching and emotive piece that tackles the heavy subjects of regret and missed opportunities in a relatable, heartfelt manner. The protagonist's journey, while painful, is also a hopeful testimony to the human capacity for change, even if it might be too late to reverse past mistakes. Overall, it’s a compelling read that evokes deep emotion.

WriterRick"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of In His Presence  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece delves into the theme of God's omnipresence and guidance, as expressed in Psalm 139:7-12 from the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible. This topic is particularly resonant because it addresses universal questions about the role of a higher power in our lives. The writing demonstrates a strong emotional core, especially when discussing your own personal experiences with faith and seeking divine guidance.

The structure follows a logical progression, starting with the biblical quote and then expanding upon its meaning. This serves to ground your reader in the theological backdrop before venturing into your personal narrative and interpretation. By weaving your own journey into the discussion, you provide a human face to the abstract concept of divine omnipresence and will. This adds layers of emotional depth, making the piece more relatable.

Moreover, your choice of language is emotionally charged but clear, making it accessible to a broad audience. You balance scriptural discussion with a personal touch, lending credibility while also inviting readers to reflect on their own experiences. You seamlessly incorporate scripture, tying in the number of times "God" appears in the NIV Bible to emphasize God’s omnipresence in both the biblical text and, by extension, in our lives.

Your prayer at the end serves as a poignant conclusion, reinforcing your central theme and serving as a call to action for the reader to reflect on their own spiritual journey. Overall, the piece is an intimate reflection on faith, providing not just a comforting reassurance of divine omnipresence, but also inspiring readers to actively seek God in their own lives.

WriterRick
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of WINTER: a haiku  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The haiku "WINTER" explores the seasonal transition from winter to spring, imparting an optimistic message to the reader. In a traditional haiku form consisting of three lines with the syllabic pattern 5-7-5, it adheres to the genre's structural rules quite well. The first line, "Winter, why dread it?" sets the tone by posing a rhetorical question, aiming to challenge the conventional narrative of winter as a season to dread. This is an excellent tactic, as it immediately engages the reader in contemplation.

The second line, "Snow will be replaced by sun," introduces a promise of change, setting the stage for renewal. The choice of the word "replaced" effectively conveys a sense of certainty that better days are ahead. Here, the juxtaposition of "snow" and "sun" serves as potent symbols for contrasting emotions or states of being, perhaps even tapping into broader themes of life and transformation.

The last line, "Spring is not too far," wraps up the haiku with a straightforward yet comforting affirmation. This line acts as the culminating response to the initial query, presenting a solution or, more accurately, a perspective shift.

However, while the haiku successfully delivers its message, it might benefit from the use of more evocative imagery or metaphors to elevate its emotional impact. Traditional haikus often delve deep into the nuances of nature, providing layers of meaning through simple yet striking images. Incorporating such elements could add a more profound layer to your work.

In my opinion, the haiku accomplishes its goal of challenging the societal notion of winter as a season to fear. It serves as a gentle reminder that change is both inevitable and beneficial, and for that, it deserves commendation.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
It seems like you're interested in participating in a writing contest that revolves around the theme of "Regional" settings. This presents an exciting opportunity for you to showcase your talent, especially given the prizes and recognition that could come from it. I'd say, if you're passionate about writing and want to hone your skills while having the chance to gain some recognition, go for it.

Let's break down the rules and key elements:

Genre Prompt: Your story should feature a particular regional setting. This could be a small town, a unique landscape, or even a distinct urban environment. Consider settings you're familiar with or have researched well. The more vividly you can depict the setting, the more compelling your story will be.

Length: Your story must not exceed 2,000 words. This constraint can actually be liberating, forcing you to focus on the essentials of your story. A word count at the end is mandatory, either at the top or bottom of the piece.

Content: The story should be rated 18+ or lower, so you'll need to keep it fairly clean. There's a vast range of stories you can tell within these constraints, from drama to comedy to suspense.

Originality: Your entry must be newly written for this contest, meaning you can't submit previously published work. This ensures that everyone starts on a level playing field.

One-time Submission: You can only submit once, so make it count. This goes hand in hand with the originality requirement and makes sure you put your best foot forward.

Editing: You can edit your entry until the deadline. After that, any edits may lead to disqualification. This gives you time to revise and improve your story, but also means you'll have to manage your time well.

Prizes: The rewards include Writing.Com Gift Points and an exclusive Merit Badge, both virtual and physical. This could provide a real boost to your writing career or hobby.

Paid Membership Requirement: To be eligible, you must have a paid membership that expires after the contest end date. Make sure you check the status of your membership before entering.

Overall, this contest offers a structured but flexible framework for storytelling that encourages creativity within a specified genre and set of guidelines. If you're aiming to improve your writing and potentially win some prizes along the way, I'd say this contest aligns perfectly with those goals. Just make sure to keep an eye on the deadlines and membership requirements to ensure your eligibility. Good luck!
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Review of Benefactors  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
23000+23000+23000=69000GPs donation


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Comfort  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
hat part of your brain gets attenuated. It gets quiet for a bit. There's comfort in it.
ChatGPT
Your piece is certainly evocative and delves into a fascinating subject: the human reaction to death, focusing particularly on the emotional and cognitive shifts that take place. You've explored the idea that death has the power to make not only people but also their inner worlds go quiet, serving as a momentary pause in the usual routine of life and thought.

The metaphor you use, likening the mind to a computer's operating system, is particularly effective. It helps the reader understand complex psychological processes in simpler, more relatable terms. Your description shows a deep understanding of how death affects us, not just emotionally but also cognitively.

That said, there are some opportunities for improvement. The flow of the text might be smoother with a more structured approach. The phrases and ideas appear somewhat disjointed, perhaps intentionally, to mimic the experience of confused thought processes. However, for the reader, this style might make it a bit challenging to follow your central argument. Additionally, you introduce the term "Ego" but don't develop this concept further. It might be beneficial to elaborate a bit more on how the 'Ego' or 'operating system' is affected by death.

I also feel that the piece might benefit from more concrete examples or perhaps an anecdote to illustrate your point. While the abstract observations are intriguing, they might resonate more deeply if anchored in a specific story or observation. This could serve to both illustrate your point more vividly and lend emotional weight to your argument.

In sum, your work effectively opens up an intriguing dialogue about how death impacts our mental and emotional state. It has potential, and with some refinement, it could be an even more compelling exploration of this profound topic.

WriterRick
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your review of the story by Maãlík offers a comprehensive analysis that appreciates its strengths while also identifying areas for improvement. You commend the story for its engaging plot device—the magical dollar—that serves as an effective hook. Your observation that the story captures the audience's attention and poses deep moral and ethical questions is apt. You rightly point out that this technique sets the tone for the entire narrative, allowing the writer to delve into complex issues without overwhelming the reader.

You also highlight the story's room for improvement, particularly concerning character development and setting. Your criticism of the story's lack of detail helps to pinpoint its weaknesses. If Maãlík were to revisit the story, your suggestions could serve as a beneficial roadmap for turning it into a more well-rounded narrative. These points are essential for any writer aiming for emotional depth and reader engagement.

Your commentary on the story's moral lesson is another strength of the review. You not only identify the message but also contextualize its importance in modern society. In a world where the love for money often eclipses ethical and moral considerations, presenting money as a "tool" is indeed a compelling and timely message. Your recognition of this aspect adds value to the review and may prompt readers to reflect on their relationship with money.

Finally, you introduce an additional layer for consideration—the protagonist's ethical stance on his windfall. This is an intriguing point that could indeed bring a new dimension to the story. The review could perhaps be enhanced by pondering the potential outcomes had the protagonist questioned the ethics of his newfound wealth, thereby adding an extra layer of complexity.

Overall, your review is both insightful and constructive. It effectively guides the reader through the story's key elements while providing valuable criticism that could enhance the narrative in future iterations. You manage to strike a balance between appreciation and critique, making the review not just an evaluation but also a guide for better storytelling.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of the lost dog  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
First of all, you have a compelling idea for a narrative. The central theme surrounding the disappearance and eventual return of the pet is one that tugs at heartstrings, and the concept that Lilly had been watching over Kelly all along could make for a moving story.

However, there are several areas for improvement to fully realize the story's potential:

Grammar and Punctuation: The frequent absence of correct punctuation makes the text difficult to read. Properly punctuated sentences will make it easier for readers to follow along.

Spacing and Formatting: The chapters and sentences all appear as large blocks of text. Breaking it up into paragraphs will make it more reader-friendly.

Character Development: Your characters Bella, Lilly, and later Sally and Kelly are the core of your story, but their personalities aren't really explored. Some more details about their behavior, thoughts, and feelings would add depth to your story.

Pacing and Time: The story spans over years but doesn't give the reader much time to absorb one event before moving on to the next. Try to slow down a bit.

Dialogue: Currently, there's not much dialogue between the characters, which could be an effective tool to show the emotional states of your characters rather than just telling us about them.

Plot Holes: The police involvement feels a little forced, especially when they reappear with the bad news about Lilly being hit by a car. The coincidental events at the end (with Kelly and Lilly meeting) need to be woven in more naturally for it to be believable.

Tone: The tone is somewhat inconsistent. You start with a dramatic event but then shift to a light-hearted day of shopping. Try to maintain a consistent tone relevant to the emotional content.

Emotional Impact: The ending could be emotional but falls a little flat due to the pacing and lack of build-up. Invest more time in making each event as impactful as it should be for maximum emotional effect.

In summary, while the idea is interesting and carries emotional weight, the execution needs refining. Working on these aspects will help you become an accomplished writer and bring out the full potential of this narrative.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Frank's Way  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, the story of Frank Sinatra is indeed a tale of relentless ambition, sublime talent, and the charisma that could captivate audiences of any size. Your piece captures the essence of Sinatra's life beautifully, incorporating elements that define him as an artist and as a man.

The diction in your poem resonates with Sinatra's own style—classy, timeless, yet filled with undeniable grit. Terms like "Chairman of the Board," "Old Blue Eyes," and "gentleman" serve not just as identifiers, but also as homage to the man himself, recalling his distinct persona that was part high society and part everyman.

The use of phrases like "modest and simple beginnings" and "hard-nosed grind" also add depth by acknowledging the challenges Sinatra faced in his rise to stardom. His journey was not one of overnight success but the culmination of years of "unwavering resolve" and "passionate commitment," as you aptly put it.

Your work weaves the duality of Sinatra's public and private lives into a comprehensive tribute. He was not just a voice; he was an icon, an embodiment of the American Dream achieved through "eternal hope, unparalleled drive, and lasting determination."

One suggestion for improvement would be to incorporate more of Sinatra's music or famous lines into your piece. The man was as much his music as he was his personality. Lines from iconic songs could deepen the emotional resonance and offer readers an even richer tapestry of what made Sinatra, Sinatra.

In sum, your poetic review captures Sinatra's essence, portraying him as a multi-faceted individual who achieved success through talent and sheer determination. It pays homage to Sinatra, in a style that he himself might have appreciated: sophisticated yet accessible, elegant but with a touch of that dogged determination that marked his life.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Moncielle  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem "Stand Beside Me, My Love" is a heartfelt ode to love and companionship, artfully crafted in the Moncielle format. The Moncielle structure—comprising stanzas with a distinct repetition of the first line—plays an instrumental role in underscoring the poem's central theme. The repetition of "Stand beside me, my love" serves as a recurring plea, adding both emotional weight and a musical quality to the piece. It essentially cements the notion that the speaker's love is not a fleeting passion but a long-lasting commitment.

Your choice of language is both evocative and accessible. Phrases like "Breathless, I feel your hand," and "Lips touching lips, I melt," aptly describe the emotional and physical intimacy between the speaker and their love interest. These lines capture the sense of euphoria and vulnerability that often accompanies love.

There's a clear progression of thought in the poem. It starts with an almost dreamlike, aspirational tone in the first stanza and culminates in the last stanza with the concrete realization of the dream—walking down the aisle as husband and wife. This progression imbues the poem with an additional layer of narrative complexity. You don't just showcase the feelings of love; you also provide a storyline that evolves, which is particularly engaging.

However, I think the line "All doubts will soon take flight" felt a bit generic in the context of the preceding lines. While it does serve its purpose, it could be more creatively phrased to make the stanza as memorable as the others.

Despite that minor critique, the poem is an affecting work. It doesn't just express love but also encapsulates the hope, vulnerability, and fulfillment that come with it. Whether you're a hopeless romantic or a literary enthusiast, this piece has elements that will resonate.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your narrative offers a fascinating blend of historical fantasy and science fiction, converging two timelines in a gripping way. The disorientation felt by David Martindale, the ship captain from 1755, as he finds himself in 2005 Boston, is captured superbly. The element of confusion is vividly palpable, and as a reader, I felt I was sharing David's perplexity and wonder in equal measure.

The dialogues are engaging and lend depth to the characters, especially the elderly doctor who serves as the voice of reason amidst the chaos. The vial of "something vile smelling" is a classic touch, adding to the surreal environment. The crowd's reactions are also fitting; they're surprised but not overwhelmingly so, which lends a sense of realism to the scenario.

However, there are some aspects that could be refined. For instance, the pace of the story changes abruptly from slow and immersive to somewhat hurried as it reaches the end. The introduction of the ball bearing is somewhat convenient; while it fits the narrative, it also appears out of nowhere, like a deus ex machina.

The idea of a "marble" being a ball bearing that helps to fix the broken-down subway adds a unique twist, but it could be fleshed out more to add a layer of complexity. Was the marble's transformation a result of the time travel, or did the woman from David's time intentionally give him something futuristic?

Also, Dr. Partridge's immediate acceptance of David's time-travel story, with minimal skepticism, could be considered a bit hasty. Adding a layer of doubt or additional questioning could lend more credibility to the character and the situation.

On a similar note, it would be interesting to delve into the psychology of David a bit more. His acceptance of this fantastical occurrence is somewhat quick. Given he's from the 18th century, his acclimation to the 21st-century world would undoubtedly be a bigger shock to his system.

Finally, the ending leaves the reader hungry for more. What happens to David? Does he try to find a way back to his own time, or does he adapt to life in the 21st century? How does he come to terms with the reality of his situation? These are questions that the narrative could explore further.

Overall, your story is intriguing, well-structured, and invites the reader into a web of complexities that span two different timelines. It offers a lot of potential for expansion into a longer form, perhaps a novella or a full-length novel.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Getting Rich  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

The story "Getting Rich" employs the concept of serendipity and the power of small, good deeds, culminating in a surprising twist of fate. It's intriguing how a simple gesture of kindness can unexpectedly snowball into an extraordinary fortune. The narrative is packed with elements of suspense, mystery, and a touch of humor, all of which work to engage the reader.

Firstly, the character's internal dialogue effectively reflects common public safety tips that many of us have ingrained, like "Don't talk to strangers" and "Always have an escape route." These thoughts create a sense of tension and apprehension that is palpable. So, when the character discovers the person behind the voice is just a child, there's a palpable release of tension, almost comedic in its turnaround.

However, some aspects of the story could be improved for better cohesion and impact. The sudden introduction of the UFO sighting and the magical twist of a pot of gold may feel disjointed or unrelated to the initial encounter with the child. It might be more compelling if there were subtle hints or foreshadowing earlier on to tie these elements together in a more cohesive manner.

The dialogue between the main character and the child serves its purpose but is somewhat straightforward. A deeper exploration of their interaction could add layers to the story. For example, what if the child said something unusual or prophetic that hints at the extraordinary events to come?

Lastly, while the story aims to portray the value of kindness, the primary character's motivation is a bit muddled. They give the child money not necessarily out of empathy, but because they're a "sucker for a polite child." This choice in phrasing slightly weakens the emotional impact.

Overall, "Getting Rich" is a story with a delightful twist that plays with the theme of kindness leading to unforeseen rewards. A bit more attention to character development and foreshadowing could elevate the tale, offering both cohesion and emotional impact.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece presents a complex and intricate world, filled with political strife, familial tensions, and layered histories. The thematic elements—like the manipulation of religious beliefs by the Clen, the conflict with the Kinde Folk, and the various societal mechanisms set up to keep the Overseer's rule intact—are ambitious and well-placed for an intriguing story. The political maneuverings and the ethical dilemmas presented are especially compelling.

However, there are areas where your narrative could be refined:

Clarity: The piece includes a lot of lore, which is fantastic for world-building, but it occasionally becomes overwhelming. The reader can lose track of what's important and why they should care about each revelation.

Dialogue & Exposition: While dialogue serves as a good medium for exposition, sometimes it's filled with too much information, making it a bit stilted. A smoother blend of show-and-tell might serve the story better.

Character Development: Paula's perspective is crucial, but we don't get to see how these revelations impact her emotionally or psychologically. Fleshing out her character could offer a richer emotional experience for the reader.

Pacing: The pacing seems hurried, especially in sections where massive changes in the setting or conflict occur. Taking time to delve into these moments could add more weight to their significance.

Technical Execution: While the language is mostly clear, the grammar and syntax need some fine-tuning to make the text flow more naturally. For example, the use of quotation marks is inconsistent, which can make it confusing to differentiate dialogue from description.

Foreshadowing and Suspense: Since your piece revolves around complex plots and secrets, consider integrating elements of foreshadowing and suspense. This will engage the reader more effectively and make the revelations even more impactful.

As for my opinion, the ideas presented are truly intriguing. The concept of using religion as a tool for political gain is particularly relevant. But the story would greatly benefit from some editing and restructuring, primarily focusing on pacing, clarity, and character development.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem vividly captures the essence of the contemporary work environment—filled with a blend of mundane tasks and bursts of adrenaline, the persistent push toward deadlines, and the emotional roller coaster that many professionals experience in their cubicles or home offices. The mix of conventional work tasks like emails and phone calls, juxtaposed with existential questions about one's true calling, strikes a relatable chord.

The meter and rhyming scheme add a playful, almost musical texture to the poem, which interestingly contrasts the often dry, mechanical nature of cubicle work. It's as if the form of the poem becomes a coping mechanism, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary, the monotonous into the melodious.

You also introduce some clever wordplay. For instance, "Reaching for the golden sheep, or lamb - the bottom line is all" speaks volumes. The metaphorical 'golden sheep' represents idealistic goals, while the 'lamb,' perhaps more realistically, is the bottom line—financial or otherwise—that most are striving for.

You make a point about personality, too. The notion that you should always be "grateful, never cross" is telling. It's a nod to the corporate culture that often expects employees to maintain a chipper disposition, regardless of how stressful or demanding the job might be.

Finally, the line "That person with a face - that person is you!" is a powerful reminder of individuality in a setting that often feels dehumanizing.

However, the poem does raise a few questions. Is this really the narrator's "dream job," or is it just what society dictates as success? The poem seems to waver between genuine enthusiasm and a slight tone of irony, making the reader ponder if the protagonist is as fulfilled as they claim to be.

Overall, your poem is an engaging look at the modern workplace, filled with energy, nuance, and a dash of cynicism. I believe it will resonate with many.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Camp 39  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The narrative beautifully captures the essence of a hiking experience along the Appalachian Trail. It's written in a way that conveys the emotions and challenges of a couple of city dwellers trying to escape modern life's complexities. The imagery is striking; particularly the way sunlight filtering through the leaves is compared to stained glass windows, elevating the natural environment to a cathedral-like sacredness.

The climb up Mount Greylock, culminating in the description of the forest resembling "flames of a wildfire," not only serves as a visual spectacle but also as a symbolic transition. The uphill journey and the breathtaking views make the subsequent exhaustion worthwhile, mirroring life's ups and downs.

Your text also subtly introduces suspense through the 'old geezer,' who warns about bears and wildcats. This moment plays a pivotal role in establishing a mood of cautious intrigue that lingers even when they're listening to the "music of the stream." It keeps the reader wondering if the old man's warnings will manifest into something tangible or not.

The contrast between the rugged outdoor experience and the comforts of home is brought into sharp focus toward the end. It's not just a simple contrast but a realization of how both environments have their own unique sets of rewards and challenges.

However, there is room for improvement. You could explore the emotional dynamics between the two hikers a bit more, perhaps hinting at the state of their friendship or the reason behind their getaway. Adding a layer of interpersonal drama could make the narrative even more engaging.

To summarize, the piece is captivating with vivid imagery, effective symbolism, and a tangible sense of atmosphere. A little more character development and a touch of suspense would make it even more compelling.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, a poem about the irresistible allure of ice cream and munchies! Your writing encapsulates the universal experience of craving for something sweet or comforting from the pantry. The use of playful emojis or markers like IceCreamV and Cookie3 adds an interesting layer to the poem. They can be seen as a modern, digital element that's familiar to most people and adds color to the subject matter.

The acrostic style—using the initial letter of each line to spell out "HUNGRY"—works effectively to capture the central theme of the poem. The pacing and rhythm are fluid, making it enjoyable to read. The line "Yearning uncontrolled" brings it home, acting as a crescendo to the mounting hunger depicted throughout the poem.

As for constructive feedback, consider exploring a wider range of emotions or sensations. Right now, the poem operates mainly on the surface level of the craving. What emotions trigger this craving? Is it just physical hunger, or is there an emotional component? What sensations do you experience when you eat these delicious items from your pantry? The poem could benefit from such depth, making it resonate more with the reader.

If you're aiming for more impact, you might also want to incorporate some metaphorical or symbolic elements that elevate the simple subject matter. The act of craving and consuming could be a metaphor for various aspects of life or emotional states. For example, the line "Until there's nothing left" could have broader implications about scarcity, satisfaction, or even existential thoughts about emptiness.

Overall, you've penned an enjoyable, relatable poem that captures the essence of a feeling we've all had at some point. It's a sweet treat in itself, but like any good dessert, it could be even better with a few extra layers of complexity.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Bottles  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your contemplative piece paints a vivid metaphorical journey, capturing the ebb and flow of emotions like the tides of an ocean. The comparison of life to a discarded water bottle and the ocean's vastness adds depth to your reflections. This evocative imagery successfully conveys the feelings of emptiness and fullness that can characterize human experiences.

The opening lines draw readers in with a relatable sentiment—how life can alternate between emptiness and abundance. By likening life's emptiness to a discarded water bottle, you emphasize the sense of neglect and worthlessness one might feel at times. Conversely, your portrayal of life swelling like the ocean conveys the grandeur of joy and fulfillment.

Your focus on the impermanence of happiness, much like the transient nature of sunlight on the ocean's surface, resonates with the reality of life's ups and downs. The comparison of stolen happiness to the shifting tide beautifully captures the way emotions can be both elusive and fleeting.

Your introspective musings take a personal turn when you discuss the emotions you seek but can't grasp, comparing them to emotions discarded like bottles. This self-reflective approach adds authenticity to your writing and invites readers to empathize with your journey.

As you question the value and fate of discarded bottles, you touch on themes of self-worth and the potential for renewal. This creates a thought-provoking parallel to the idea that individuals deserve more than to be cast aside.

Your concluding repetition of "Me. A bottle." reinforces the emotional weight of your piece and leaves readers pondering the significance of the metaphor you've woven throughout.

In terms of improvement, consider exploring the emotions you're yearning for with a bit more specificity. This could deepen the connection between your experiences and those of your readers.

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Review of Cloudburst  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Title: A Deluge of Emotion and Reflection - A Review of "Cloudburst"

"Cloudburst" is a beautifully crafted piece of poetry that captures the intricate dance between nature's elements and human emotions. With its vivid imagery and skillful use of language, the poem paints a picture of rain as both a physical occurrence and a metaphor for the complexities of life.

The poem opens with the metaphorical image of Earth being cradled by tender hands, setting a tone of intimacy and connection between humanity and the planet. The "tiny points of brilliance" that dot the sky like jewels evoke a sense of wonder and awe, as if the universe itself is adorned with stars.

As the poem progresses, the metaphor shifts to the rain itself. The idea of raindrops joining and coalescing before falling in a "wet caress" upon the Earth is a poignant portrayal of the cycle of life and the nourishing power of water. The imagery of "rainbow smiles" released by sunlight through raindrops adds a touch of magic to the scene.

The poem's middle section delves into the multifaceted nature of rain. Each raindrop, seemingly small, possesses "an awesome power" that can both humble mountains and nurture delicate flowers. This juxtaposition illustrates the duality of strength and gentleness present in nature.

The poet skillfully connects rain to human emotions, describing how rain can evoke feelings of both gentleness and sorrow. The lines "bringing tears of joy or remembered pain" encapsulate the wide range of emotions that rain can symbolize. This reflection on rain's ability to mirror human feelings lends the poem a profound depth.

The poem concludes by underscoring the transformative nature of rain. It can cleanse, obscure, or gently encourage, mirroring the way life itself unfolds. The final stanza, which likens the falling raindrops to facets of a cloudburst in the mind, encapsulates the poem's central theme of finding meaning and revelation in the natural world.

In "Cloudburst," the poet masterfully weaves together imagery of rain, nature, and human emotions. The words flow gracefully, creating a tapestry that speaks to both the tangible and the intangible aspects of existence. With its thought-provoking reflections and emotive language, the poem succeeds in engaging readers on multiple levels, inviting them to contemplate the profound connections between nature and the human experience.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Mystic Love  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poetic endeavor, "Love's Path," is a captivating exploration of the intricate journey of love. Your choice of words weaves a tapestry of emotions, offering both vivid imagery and thoughtful reflection. The theme of unpredictability in love is beautifully conveyed through your verses.

The opening lines paint a picture of love's complexity, describing it as a path filled with unexpected twists and turns. This metaphor immediately draws the reader in, setting the tone for the rest of the poem. The image of "Cherished hearts entwined, in joy they soar" exudes a sense of happiness and unity, reflecting the positive aspects of love.

The contrast you present between light and shadow, joy and mystery, adds depth to your poem. The notion of "lurking shadows, mysteries unsound" creates an intriguing atmosphere, suggesting that love is not without its challenges and uncertainties. The line "Veil futures, hidden, behind life's door" is particularly evocative, hinting at the enigmatic nature of what lies ahead.

Your portrayal of affection as a bloom with hidden edges is a striking metaphor. The phrase "fate's sharp edges hide" masterfully encapsulates the idea that beneath love's surface beauty, there are complexities that can catch us unawares. The lines "Life's fickle hand, uncertain, unaware, Unravels tales unknown, as stars collide" possess a poetic rhythm that adds musicality to your words. This stanza conveys a sense of destiny and cosmic influence on human relationships.

In terms of improvement, consider refining the flow in a couple of places to maintain consistent rhythm. Additionally, varying the length of your lines could enhance the poem's visual appeal.

Overall, your poem is a thoughtful contemplation of love's multifaceted nature. It successfully captures the joy, challenges, and mysteries that love entails, inviting readers to reflect on their own experiences. With its vivid imagery and well-crafted metaphors, "Love's Path" resonates deeply. Your willingness to delve into the complexities of emotions showcases your potential as an accomplished writer. Keep nurturing your craft, and you're sure to continue growing as a poet.


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem is deeply evocative and captures the nuances of love in a manner that is both intimate and grand. The use of contrasting elements, such as "lovelorn, sedentary history" against "spiritually transcendent journey," adds depth to the narrative. These contrasts set up an intriguing landscape of emotional complexity, where past and present collide to create a powerful sentiment of romanticism.

The choice of words like "glittering sparkle" and "wispy clouds" lend the poem a sense of ethereal beauty, painting vivid imagery that elevates the subject matter. You also add an element of public and private spheres by mentioning "those fine musicians who witness our truly impassioned love story." This creates a sense of scope, indicating that the love between the two individuals is so compelling that it commands attention, even in a broader context.

However, the use of phrases like "saintly heart" and "truly divine lady" run the risk of sounding a bit excessive. While romantic poetry often lends itself to grandiose language, such hyperbolic descriptors might make the sentiment feel less authentic to some readers. Of course, that's a matter of personal preference, and others might find the heightened language completely fitting for a love this profound.

Your use of metaphors, comparing the lover to "a distinguished visitor to a vibrant and historic city," is a clever way to depict the uniqueness and complexity of each individual's emotional landscape. This metaphor extends the scope of the poem, hinting at the layers and facets that constitute love and commitment.

In sum, your poem is a heartfelt exploration of love's complexities and the transformative power it holds. It excels in its vivid imagery and emotional depth, though some might find the language a touch extravagant. These are merely nuances in an otherwise touching ode to love and connection. The poem undeniably celebrates the beauty of love, one that is full of grace, compassion, and an enduring bond.


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