Reminded me of my first kiss... anyway... Your poem reminds me Robert Burns " My love is a red red rose"... so simple yet a universal theme of that pure love we all experienced once...clean fresh and nostaligic
What touches me most in the poem is the simple frilless approach to a sensitive subject..."mortality" and "objectivity- towards a greater realm, one that surpasses the frugality of materialism". Also,I am not sure whether it was intentional or not,but the absence of any capitalization highlighted the purpose of the poem-"moderation". Why is the poem "untitled"? I feel " rolling the dice" would centralize the poem and be an apt title.
Thats what i think! Its your baby....in a word... ITS WONDERFUL!
Very well conceived and effective presentation. Could be improved by citing practical examples from day to day life and including a little humour. In a nutshell you can make it a popular read by being a little less textbook and more fun without losing the seriousness...
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