The story really worked for me because I felt the same frustration the main character did. I was once a college grad who moved into a new place right out of college too. Also, I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive when it comes to certain things, so I could see this happening to me, and I think the writer really made me feel that it was.
Sometimes comedy-of-error plots get crazy and spin so out of control they're unrealistic and I lose enjoyment. There were a few things that were really out there--all the stuff the father sent, and the character using matches first instead of a flashlight. I think there could have been another way to bring the fire into in it.
But over all, I thought this story was very well-constructed and, and best of all, it really kept my interest.
I normally write nonfiction and am venturing into short stories. I found this story while looking for examples. My first story was in the first person and was constructed somewhat in the same way. A friend who critiqued my first short story said my ending was weak and gave too much away. A good ending to a short story, she said, keeps the audience guessing. She was right.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rosemarytw
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.18 seconds at 5:56am on Jun 11, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
