This interactive is the best little-girls-getting-fat story on this site - which is surprisingly much higher praise than you might think, as there are a fair few such stories. It's theoretically possible that I'm biased, seeing as I've contributed about fifty chapters, but whatever. 5/5, 10/10, would write and read about fat kids again.
Aww, man. You made me sad with this one, that's grim. Whether the "other I" was real or a figment of the main character's stressed mind, it offers a painful look into 'what could have been'. Very well paced, and captures the difficulties of the main character's life, effectively demonstrating the definition of wasted potential. I also like that the both practiced the exact same winking gesture, despite their radically different paths in life.
If I had a criticism, it could only be that I would like to see this idea examined further.
Overall writing quality is... mediocre, to say the least. However, it occasionally attains a decent author, and manages to maintain a cohesive narrative far better than some other interactive stories I've read.
I would recommend that the author creates a reference story, to keep track of characters and location; it would help a lot with writing entries.
Also, some time skips would probably help in a lot of situations; the original author seems determined to describe each individual day, and though that could work, the story gets rather bogged down describing individual meals. Also, some slightly more unusual settings and events would work wonders for this interactive.
Rereading this review, it would appear that I do not think much of this work at all. This is not true; some of the threads, namely Nikki's, are actually reasonable well written, and though some of the other characters are less skillfully maintained, the one's that are make this interactive worth participating.
PS; Amber, a quick spell and grammatical check before publishing would greatly improve story quality. Please consider...
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