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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Aces over eights  
Review by SQuinn
Rated: E | (4.0)
Awesome imagery of a western poker game. As a poker player myself, I can picture this perfectly in my mind and you did a good job of evoking the feeling of having your money on the line. Even better, that I did learn a bit of western history while reading the poem. I really loved the short story feeling that is told in the form of poetry. Very unique. Good job.
2
2
Review of Stars  
Review by SQuinn
Rated: E | (3.5)
I've never heard of this form before, but it's pretty unique and interesting. I love reading about this subject so I was instantly intrigued. I liked that you provided history upon the subject, and gave your star system a name. But I am also a little disappointed that the name "Pleiades" did not make an appearance in the poem.

My favorite line was: See all but one, forget solitary star: wish.
3
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Review of Shaman's Trance  
Review by SQuinn
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love this. I find any stream of consciousness extremely fascinating and you have done quite well.

" If ever you lose your footing:
swap space,
retrace,
and follow
the soundless humming grace."

I found this line very enchanting. It has a very melodic feel to it, that in turn makes the speaker otherworldly. You did a good job on creating a distinction between the meditator, and the speaker.

Instead of the meditator being frightened, maybe you should try the meditator feeling intrigued, fascinated, or blown away by magnificence. Perhaps asking a question that is in turn questioned? In my opinion, giving the meditator a larger role in the prose will cause more balance within the message.

This is awesome though, good job :)
4
4
Review by SQuinn
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Read this a few times over and I must say, this is a very haunting piece. On one hand, it seems like the natural phases of a romantic relationship (from friendship to love to death). Then, on the other hand, it seems like a relationship that has run out of steam quite quickly.

I really like the ending lines: "Capture, Rapture, Fracture." It gives a great structure for the three main phases of a relationship. And I don't exactly mean a long term relationship but rather all relationships. Just like the haunting of a real relationship, this piece seems to convey that same feeling

My favorite line especially is: "Partners of free will,
'til death's an anvil:
Fracture"

The "fracture" at the end is so different (spelling wise and phonetically) compared to "capture and rapture" that it makes a large impact. I really enjoyed this. I love the style and form of this poem. I wasn't aware of this style, maybe I'll try it out for myself!
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