*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/savannah1207
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Wild Wind  
Review by Savannah Austin
Rated: E | (3.5)
The sixth stanza is by far my favorite! It seems a lot of thought was put into this, so kudos to you, fyndorian! As far as clarity goes, it was pretty clear, but I prefer that you could have used another comma to distinguish what is said in the note and what if going through the mind of his old lover. There was great rhythm and flow, but some of it seemed confusing or could have been worded better. The word choice for "down Pettysville way" was not my cup of tea. I could not tell if it's supposed to be a street name --Pettysville Way-- or a path of petty --which would seem harsh for a man to say to a woman who he is trying to encourage to have hope that another man will find her. If it is the former, I prefer it to be said like, "on Pettysville Way." If it is the latter, maybe the whole line should be revised, but I do like it being said like this, "With the prettiest woman following the way of pettysville." Okay, in hindsight, this was a great read with minimal complaints. The arrangement of words was simple, but so far from the way I arrange my own words, so it was a little odd reading, but -hey!- we all have different minds. The words were creative and painting the tale accurately, but some adjectives could have been thrown in. Any who, I should wrap this up by saying they were great lyrics. *Heart*
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/savannah1207