...inner core...
To me, this seems a little redundant.
Also, in the very beginning, you say that the thoughts isn't a thought anymore, and in the next sentence it is one.
Rhythm
It had a great rhythm, but I kind of lost it in the second stanza.
Favorite
I enjoyed reading the first stanza very much! A wonderful use of words!
Overall
A poem that is catchy and enjoyable to read!
My Rating
4.0
I enjoyed reading this poem very much! Keep writing!
~Elandra Tressinger
My rating scale:
If I find a item particularly touching or unique, I will tend to giving it a higher rating.
I rarely give below a 3.0
5.0 ~ I found this item extremely enjoyable with very little or no errors
4.0/4.5 ~ Enjoyed immensely but noticed a few minor errors
3.0/3.5 ~ Enjoyed it tolerably well, and noticed quite a few errors
2.0/2.5 ~ Didn't enjoy it a great deal, and found it full of errors
1.0/1.5 ~ Needs SERIOUS work!
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