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Review by TheSecretLife
Rated: E | (1.0)
Dear Gibran
Good attempt. Though I am not quite sure whether there is one message you're trying to convey or many messages ? I think you essay needs to focus on one large argument and build towards that at the end, What is the final point you are trying to convey ? That we lack compassion ? That capitalism makes us focus on material being rather than compassion ? That the world is corrupt ? . If you could fine tune your argument , here within lie a great essay
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Review by TheSecretLife
Rated: ASR | (2.0)
incredib
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