This is awesome. It's hard to believe that it has been 9 years. A new generation are growing up with no memory or knowledge of that day. This could be used in school as a teaching tool.
I like the pace of the story and your writing style. You used ample descriptive words that gives the reader an ability to feel as if they are in the story and witnessing what is happening.
A good description of todays modern relationships, especially teens and twenty somethings. When I was dating, we had to break up the old fashioned way, face to face or by phone. I think it is too easy now.
You have an interesting plot for a story, and I like the journal entry style. You might want to add more details to give the reader a visual of the area, of what she looks like, and maybe some dreams and other details of her days. Has she confided in a friend about her discovery? Does she dream of the girl to whom the bones belong? How old is she? Why has she not told anyone? What is her family situation?
You might want to add something like,,,,,Dear Diary, Today there was a drenching rain that froze me to the core but I just couldn't stay away.....
You sound like an amazing person.
My mom is a licensed massage therapist and have worked on people suffering the same way you are. My mom now suffers from severe Rhuematism and can't work anymore because of her pain and it's affects. I hope that research will find a way to help people like you and her.
Sherry
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 11:46pm on May 17, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
