Very nice indeed. I like how it plays out to be an incestual story, although not blatanly saying it. The Dom could also just be using the Daddy Dom role as a mind set too. This is a great story and leads well with the buildup and the playing out of the action. I personally like a lot of detail in the action scenes, but this did well. Bravo.
A great add. This plays right along with the story line and shows his dominance and how well it is perceived by a submissive that does not know him. Her understanding of him is played out well and he mannerisms are shown in good regard to who he is internally. Bravo.
Excellent beginning to this story line. I am truly interested in how this will play out. I like the way the Dom is portrayed and how his dialogue with the girl shows his obvious dominance. Her reaction to his words and demeanor are ones that fit perfectly to a subservient female that may not truly understand her calling. Bravo.
Very good story. I like the hidden texts that provide where the story is heading in the end. The thought of a high school boy and his teacher is an interesting one, and not many stories deal with this. With all the tabloids now adays, I am shocked not to see more. But you ahve done it well, with a good deal of hidden agendas.
Good story. Quick, but good to the layout of the story line. I like his assertiveness and her inability to fight him off once it began. Her lust took control of her and won. She didn't lose much in this either. Very good story and I believe it played out well. Bravo.
Intersting story. I like the dialoguge, and I think the interaction between them is right on target. The desires he has towards her feet is something that you have played out well. The fact that this is the mother of his girlfriend, adds to the story qutie a bit. Bravo on the writing.
Another good story. The darker elimate is seen here. She is freed, somowhow, prior to being defiled. I like the quickness of the story, but enough detail and emotion is there. You did a good job and I think you have talent for writing. Bravo, keep writing.
This was a great short story. I like how it's straight to the point. If it were expanded on, it would be nice to get the juicy details from it and to know all that happened to her. I have many ideas, but that's another story. Bravo on your story, I think you did it weel, keeping the reader interested.
Excellent beginning to what I believe will be a good story. I like how you have captured the vampire human relationship. I think that is a tough thing to be able to do and you have done it well. I like the characters and look forward to the rest of the story.
Very interesting story. I like how it began with the pondering of the internal questions about the morality behind her actions. The story progressed well and rapidly to keep you going, but not too much to allow for a short story. I think you did well with the character descriptions and the action. Very good story all in all.
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