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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/slicy
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7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
If you have any medically related writing, I will be an excellent judge for realism (I am an ER physician). I always try to be gentle, we are all learning here, but I try to help any way I can.
I'm good at...
I will be an excellent resource for anyone with medically related writing who is trying to figure out if what they wrote is how it really happens, especially Emergency Medically related writing. I also am well read in YA fantasy.
Favorite Genres
YA fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
auto-biography
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Weekly Goals  
Review by slicy
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Goals: Add at least 2 more Chapters to Jayded to the website
2
2
Review by slicy
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Interesting start, though somewhat graphic.

If the farmer and his wife are (essentially) throw away characters, I would not mention any names (Maggy), just leave it as "his wife."

Sometimes using less words has a more powerful impact than more. For example, when you say "He cursed, wondering how he would explain this to his wife, who even now was expecting their first child." You could say, "He cursed, wondering what his pregnant wife would say about the lost horses."

Also, I find that whenever I use the words "things," almost invariably the sentence can be restructured better. For example: "The only things remaining in the barn were straw and dung," could be changed to "Only straw and dung remained in the barn."

Only my opinions,

interesting start!

-slicy
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