Chrissie, it's a lovely piece of work because you've filled it with so much heart! There are a few capitalization and comma repairs that take the reader a bit off course but you can clearly see the the writer truly enjoyed penning and that always makes a piece extra special.
It felt finished at the last verse "i sat next to my uncle" It's very whimsical in a twisting way. Clever way to blend dream life with real life ideas and philosophies, it takes a lot of wording loops so maybe one more verse to close it and bring all the colorful ideas into a black and white reality? It's lovely. Well done.
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