Hello atticmoth,
I saw your piece listed in Read a Newbie and was intrigued by "Acceptance that I am not where I wanted to be; and building the courage to become." Not only do I appreciate the self-awareness in your monologue and the desire for authenticity, I relate to it personally. But MY awakening started almost thirty years later in life. I, too, am a newbie who is finding her voice, and I'm learning that this is a lovely community within which to share it. I hope you will too.
Things I liked best about your piece:
1. "Writing has always been in that small corner of my soul, waiting to be given permission to act."
2. "Timid in the footsteps of my past selves' wishes ..."
3. "... lost my gateway to the next chapter."
4. "... I'm hiding in the corner of the page ..."
It's time to come out of hiding and let your voice be heard. I look forward to seeing what else it has to say.
I found your poem under Read A Newbie. Your title intrigued me, so I wanted to read more. As a fellow "quiet kid", I could relate very well to your words. I like the way you break the lines ... it's artistic and doesn't hurt the flow of the words, at least in my opinion.
There were two places where I got stuck ... just a little ... and they're both in the very last line. I would encourage you to check and see if there is a missing "be" between "can" and "the". The other is a question. When you say "fairy bowls", are you referring back to building "fairy houses", or are you referring to two different things? It wasn't clear to me. If the acorns are intended to be the "tops" or roofs of the houses, then it seems like "fairy bowls" should be more closely associated to "houses", like perhaps with the word "homes"? If I'm misinterpreting what you wrote, I'd welcome a clarification.
Other than that, I quite enjoyed your piece. There is a nice peaceful serenity that exists behind your obvious discomfort, so I would encourage you to never let go of the magic that takes you there.
Wow ... I'm in awe. First, you had me at "Scrabble Magic". Many, many years ago, I used to play every day after school with my mom. To this day, it's a cherished memory. Then, the way you brought the whole game to life was simply masterful. Each Scrabble word played became a character that told it's own story through what happened around it as it came into being. Brilliant! It was a song, a dance, and a painting all wrapped into one. And I loved the last line ... "A symphony of stories, on a checkered ground." Perfection.
Thank you for a most enjoyable read and for conjuring up a lovely memory!
Dave Ryan ... I rarely find myself laughing out loud (especially when I'm alone), but "The Jewel Thief" just had me laughing out loud the whole way through! Your gift of nonsense is admirable and infectious ... and a testament to your obvious playful/joyful spirit. Your words carry such a light-hearted flow that it feels like a jig to this reader. Thank you for sharing such an enjoyable piece and please continue spreading your joy!
Write on,
MJones
Being ridiculed for our uniqueness makes us hide. Being honored for our uniqueness makes us stand tall. May we all be lucky enough to have a Mr. Angelino in our lives!
Thank you for sharing your lovely story.
Write on,
Joni
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