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Review of Random rambling  
Review by Braxton Cole
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi FORBES,

To begin, I really enjoyed this! It is very emotionally tugging and can definitely make the reader feel what you're feeling; it is very relatable. If I do have any negative comments, it would be grammar. I understand that this is an informal writing, judging by your uncapitalized "I"'s and starting of sentences with coordinating conjunctions (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), which is fine, yet when you decide to bring a comma into the equation, you are almost initializing your use of proper punctuation and grammatical rules, from the first sentence, "I make mistakes, maybe more than most". I highly recommend that you begin capitalizing your I's and maybe even begin to say "I'm" or "I am" rather than "im". These are all very simple and a bit critical, but I am just trying to help make you better because I have faith in your writing!

P.S.

If this story is really what is going on in your life, please understand that you are a very unique individual and everyone suffers from these thoughts every now and again. Just understand, you are an amazing writer and that you should be more optimistic rather than pessimistic. Judging by the story you wrote, you are very intelligent and I recommend you hold on to that confidence rather than bringing yourself down such as within this story. I may be taking this too seriously, but I am just wanting to let you know.

Have a great evening and please continue writing!

Best wishes,

Braxton Cole
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Review of Color My World  
Review by Braxton Cole
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Pat,

This is a really great poem, but I do have one comment. Your opening line "Color my world gray, for depression has me in its grasp..." is a little redundant compared to your overall meaning in the poem. Since your world is already gray and you're looking for someone to show you to the brightness, why don't you start it with "Color my world bright" or "Color my world rainbow" or "Color my world happy". I can't quite speak for yourself, for this poem is not my own, so maybe you did that for a specific reason, but that reason is unidentifiable to the reader. Other than your opening line, I truly enjoyed this poem! Great job!
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