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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/spaced33
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Review by Spaced
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
I've been looking for a psychologically intense storyline substantial enough that i would be able to stretch it out over the course of an entire manuscript... so far i havent been able to come up with something i like.... ur piece intruiged me.... the idea of someone grappling with their own sense of self-identity in a context as confrontational and raw as looking at herself in a mirror is delicious...i dont think u went quite far enough though....while i was reading the story i was waiting for u to send me some subtle hints about whether or not she was the one looking at the mirror or the reflection itself... if i were u i would explore and expand on the idea of her grappling with her identity and not really being absolutely sure whether she is real or simply being pulled or twisted like a puppet... think about it.. there are many different angles u can take... i know this is a rather short piece.. but this premise is something i think u could elongate to the point of something much greater.... although it may not be fair, you need to fix the grammar, sentence structure, and make the transations into dialogue more streamlined and fluid and much more people will take u seriously....great start though.
Andrew
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