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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/spunkmaster6
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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by SM Six
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good, silly fun with nice usage of repetition. And it has chickens in it, which is always a plus.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of THE BOTTLE  
Review by SM Six
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this concept. It was well thought out, and I see the direction it took.

My biggest issue with it is grammatical. It's important to watch for run-on sentences, contractions, tenses and other structural conventions. There were a couple of typos as well. Perhaps it would be helpful to proof-read a bit more, or to find somebody to edit for you. Clean up those errors, and you're looking at a much more well-polished product.

Don't take the criticism too harshly though; content-wise, this is very nice. Emotional, but to the point. It makes me wonder who exactly the titular bottle is based on.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Broken Strings  
Review by SM Six
Rated: E | (4.0)
Heartfelt and honest, I like it. The progression from darkness and solitude to a surprisingly optimistic finish was nice, and the pacing worked. This is, in part, due to good usage of stanza separation and the repetition of the phrases involving, "broken strings" which makes the title quite fitting.

My only criticism is that the tense switch from stanza three to stanza four made me do a double take, which hurt immersion in the poem a little bit. Other than that, very nice work.
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