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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/steezrat96
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Review of Greed  
Review by Steezrat
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
This is an awesome story idea! I was really intrigued by the whole concept especially the hidden basement and how the grandmother would be hiding it. But i think that you could definitely improve the settings, particularly inside of the house, by putting in more detail. Showing through this character what was so boring about the house? Was it so barren of furniture that the light blue couch was all that was left? What did the walls look like? Did it smell funny? it would improve the story greatly to put these details in there. I loved the strong vocabulary it really helped where setting lacked. The only other thing that I can point out is somehow show more of how greed played out in his mind it seemed he was more curious than greedy.
All in all the idea is solid it's interesting and really has a lot of room to grow and expand.
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