Hey, Lurie. This is a really satisfying and absolutely optimistic piece of buoyant verses and it does light a candle of hope in my heart. I find it really comforting and relatable.
But I feel that maybe in the first verse, third line "a friend beside you to stay" will sound better. It is just an opinion but honestly, overall I absolutely fancy this poem.
Thank you so much for sharing this piece and for asking me to review your work.
And I hope this time I have written your name correctly.
well done!
Absolutely a delicate piece that reminds me that I matter and that I am not just a "pawn in a game". I stumbled on this post through read a newbie feature and I am glad I stopped to read it. This is absolutely beautiful and I dearly whish that everyone out there who needs it comes across this.
Oh! and welcome to the Writing.com .... Happy Writing !!
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