Excellent intro -- you set the scene nicely and give the reader a great lead-in to the subject of Jamie.
I would make these two separate sentences: She had to because she was going to be a zookeeper someday. (Ironically, she is now in college majoring in Elementary Education).
Your ending sounds a little unfinished. It needs a "clincher sentence." (You'll probably get sick of me talking about those.) It's just that the last sentence sounds like you're still discussing your relationship with Jamie, not bringing the writing to a close. Does that make sense? Maybe you could end with something like, "Jamie taught me a lot about friendship, nature, and life in general; I hope some day to be able to reciprocate everything she has given me." Ok, that line sounds a little cheesy, but it shows you what I mean.
I gave this a 5 regardless of the ending, because I think you did a great job with sensory details. You used action verbs and vivid adjectives, and you took the time to develop the sensory details. That's what helps the reader experience what you did ... it is key.
Very nice essay of inward exploration. Very honest and straightforward. The only weak spot, in my opinion, is the organization. Read the first sentence of each paragraph. Although the first sentence of a paragraph doesn't have to be the topic sentence, it should be leading you into some sort of topic. Note the last three paragraphs; you begin with "Now I look forward to college..." then the next paragraph begins with your issues as an artist, then you close with a paragraph about looking forward to college again. It just sounds like it's wandering a bit. Overall, though, I think it's a good essay.
Grammatical issues:
Save for those in Mathematics
Do not capitalize mathematics.
The problem with myself as an artist was, I was under the impression
Revise sentence to take comma after "was": The problem with myself as an artist was that I was ..."
I hope I can make up for squandering my High School years by being an attentive and open-minded student.
Do not capitalize high school unless it is part of a formal name.
Good job; keep writing!
Jen
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To show the man's exasperation, perhaps modify punctuation here: Damn my nerves