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Review of "Jonah's grin"  
Review by Sylph
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Your story is a real "page-turner," so to speak. The way you wrote this story sounds like you are a very good story-teller, in the sense that the flow of the words are smooth and very well-understood. And for a plot like this, you succeeded in making the story a suspense.

However, the one thing you have to work on is the technical aspect of written language --- grammar, spelling, punctuations. Also try script-writing, as your characters' dialogues are quite good.

{Sample excerpt: "A vampire who [ciphend] off the will of the weak," --- the word is "siphoned"}

I emailed you about this piece and hope to hear back. Take care and KEEP WRITING!;)
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