Grammar and punctuation was on point! I kind of had a hard time figuring out who the main character was, at first. Then the more I read I realized who it is. Watch out for "extra" words....go back through it and see if there are unnecessary words that you can take out. I like the story, it is good.
Looking forward to see where this goes, so let me know when you add to it!
Keep writing,
Raven
Action packed story! Keep the story going. It is going to be good! I like the way you started with, "I look back while running" That grabs the attention of the reader right away.
Really good poem!! I like the way you put the importance of patience in your life, throughout the piece. We all need patience, but like you said, when you ask for it...the trials and tribulations come!
Good job!!
Oh how funny!!! Very well written! I actually could see you running outside, felt the grass on my feet, and even felt the excitement you must have felt!! This is really good!!!
You have a fear of spiders like I do!! Just one mistake, nothing major. Check the 4th line, you have TO twice. By the way, what form of poetry is this? Curious, being a beginner!
Great job!!
This is a very helpful article! As a beginner writer, this is something I will read again and again and keep in the forefront of my mind as I write short stories!
Thank you so much for sharing!
Interesting spin on a nightmare! I like it! Who is Loki? Just curious! Well written, no errors that I could see. Good job! btw, I am new on here as well, so feel free to visit my portfolio and review my stories
I am new on here, so I don't know, yet, all of the rules for reviewing. But my impression of the poem is first of all, an attention grabber! The way you describe the sport, and how you give it your all, is amazing! The way you choose your words is not ordinary, and that is what kept me reading it!
Very good job!!!
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