Very ironic and short but simple and sweet. Loved the tone and voice from this "jock" and how he got what he had coming to him. Didn't need much in the way of words or setting the scene, you captured it in his voice and the fact that one doesn't throw down with hellspawn and live to tell the tale. Nice job!
I like the imagery of the tree representing the undying memory of the person's mother, though I wonder if the allusion works with something that is not quite infinite (i.e. the roots may be upended by a storm or wood rot leading to a fake and hollow tree riddled in death but still standing). Maybe that's what you are trying to go for? Either way, very though-provoking in such a small bit of writing. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
A little bit corny for my tastes (using the names of stories) but if that is what you set out to do, then you did a good job in wrapping things up nicely for us to read. I think I would've liked a little more character development but it was a short story and I overall found myself laughing a little (having read maybe 60% of these titles, I felt made it a bit more familiar to me). Good job!
I enjoyed your "goal" and "realism" back and forth, it was rather entertaining how idealism in setting a goal is met by the sarcastic realism. I can't say why I gave you only 4.5 instead of 5 stars but I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for posting it!
Sometimes, simple words create very intriguing responses while others, like yours, makes a reader both question what they just read as well as wonder why they feel a response to them. In other words, your work here makes it easy for someone like me to trip over your work, pause for a moment, and then respond to it. I don't know what those words are, what weight they had, or even who spoke them...but yet I have those questions for something that is only 6 lines long. Very well done!
Short, simple, a bit bland on the plot, but otherwise a fun read. I'm wondering what the difference was between your characters that made it more plausible for the sister to sell rather than the brother...but maybe that's your point overall: some people just got the gift and others don't. Either way, I enjoyed reading your work. Please keep up the good work!
Not too sure what to make of this piece. You kept it short and simple, that was obvious from the beginning, but there seems to be some jumping around and the flow was interrupted by some spots that lacked definition (i.e. where did this implant tech come from, how is it used, who exactly are these people?) No real character development so it's hard to really care about anything that goes on in here. Other than that, I hope you continue!
Not quite sure what to make of this except it was a short read, it flowed from beginning to end, and had a simple plot that the writing never strayed from. I enjoyed your story a bit more than what I thought I would when I began to read it. Perhaps you would flesh it out more later on? Either way, it fits for its size and length. Thank you for sharing!
This is a fun read but not a lot is going on in the story at this point. I like how you spread the choices into different areas but the lack of something that ties the changes together makes for a boring read. Still, you have taken a new and fresher look into the tg arena and that is worth a star. Keep up the good work!
This is an interesting premise and I love how you set up the characters in a casino, their wagers not monetary but on their life and body. I hope you continue to flesh out the story more and keep up the good work in this fun story! If anything, the word is "lose", not "loose". Just a minor nit to pick, perhaps. Keep writing!
It's sad to see this story hasn't been modified in a while. It is an interesting, if not a bit bland, premise on how the characters switch places with each other but, given how short things are at the moment, there isn't much in the way of details or of interest in the plot. I won't give it lower star ratings because I think the author tried to make something interesting happen but the lack of development makes it a bit hard to give it more. I hope one day it gets some more additions and the plot develops.
I usually don't comment on poetry but I thought your words were good and they flowed from the beginning to the end in a way that I could follow and get a sense of progression from the beginning to the end. I also thought the usage of colors was an interesting one. I hope you continue to keep up your work!
Maybe because you haven't really added a lot to the story but it seems that the basic premise was established loosely (what swaps them? How does it happen?) and the various changes tend to be completely random. A bit more in the background would be nice or, perhaps, you intend to make it unknown and throw them (and the reader) into trying to figure it out? Either way, I hope you revisit and continue to explore this.
Please work on the story more, I want to read how you plan on making the lives of the swapped people work in their new lives, especially with the husband being the "smart inventor" and his hapless subject adjusting to whatever was thrown on them. I'm not sure about the imagery of young (below 18) girls but it may play out well, depending on what direction you plan on taking the story. Keep up the good work!
Not my cup of tea at all but I couldn't help but laugh at the chapters and the direction that the story was taking at times. I hope you really work on getting more chapters to this story and avoid the lumps of coal that will be making their way to your tree. Keep up the good work!
This story is rather vanilla and "safe" when you consider that there is a bunch of stories from another site that tends to go off the edge when it contains the Master PC. I'm not sure if you're making a story in homage to that or if the two just share the name (and transformative powers). Still, please continue to work on this story!
I love "The Great Shift" stories and was glad to see that you made your stories stay true to the overall scheme of things. I also enjoyed the way that the stories, though short due to a lack of a lot of chapters, have made us care about the people and how the changes have impacted them. If anything, I would like to see more about the transformations playing with people's heads, how someone is fighting (a losing battle) against the changes that have happened to him/her. Perhaps later on? Please keep up the good work!
A very interesting and delightful spin on the bodysuit genre, especially with the way you give the wearer options to assume the new role given by the suit. One small hitch: Not enough! Please keep going and give us more. My personal favorite? Definitely the bit about the change in the marital status of the suitwearing husband and wife. VERY good...
This was an interesting story when I first read it. The way that you worked the changes in were good but I wonder why the 13+ rating? I thought maybe you would be better off having this story an 18+ and allowing some sensuality into the story (i.e. the mom exploring her relationship with her "husband" on the second-honeymoon story track.) It doesn't necessarily need to be graphic sex...either way, I enjoy this greatly and hope you will continue to work on it!
This story idea is great! It works to make people write from a viewpoint of someone who has suffered a loss and is working through a new life to make it better while exploring their own pain annd suffering. Interesting idea to make it non-sexual but that's what makes it good. Keep up the work!
This story is interesting and fun by using the concept of a "body morph" and then giving more options and control to the characters. I love how it can be controlled by will-power, not by some remote or by a machine. I also enjoy the way you work sex and mature themes into the plot without losing sight of why you are doing it in the first place. Please continue to expand this story!
This was pretty fun to read! I hope you continue to develop the stories a little bit more and that you can make it more fun and enjoyable. What I'm curious about, though, is the backstory of the medallion. What makes it magical? Is it blessed? Cursed? That would be a nice touch. Still, keep up the good work!
This is a very good story idea and it's fun to just let yourself go to read it! I hope you continue to help make this idea grow and grow and more people write on and help you develop it any more. Are you going to stop here or make a series of these interactive stories? I hope you continue to add to it. Best of luck!
Being someone new to this whole process, I like the way that you spend some time going through the characters and making them accessible to the reader. Some of the other stories all have "you want to bone your mother" or "you swap" but there's no context, no development, and it is just a simple click and point. Even though some of the chapters are short, they still make the story go. I look forward to reading more of your work and I hope you continue the story!!!
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