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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tempus-edax
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16 Public Reviews Given
16 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to tell you how much I enjoyed the thing I've read. I'll try to point out what particular parts I liked and I'll definitely give it a lot of thought. And I promise I won't judge you to harshly. I'm an amateur myself!
I'm good at...
Poetry mostly, though I might have time for some flash fiction sized stuff. Anything bigger and I won't get back to you for a while.
Favorite Genres
Fan fiction, Sci fi, romance, comic book themed.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, macabre, Gay or Lesbian.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels, though if you feed me chapter by chapter, I might.
I will not review...
Stuff that is overtly symbolic, Overtly sexual and lude.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Tempus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Well, I'd say you have a good outline for a more full story. Trying to write flash fiction can be hard, and I think you put forth a good effort.
However, your tense was odd, and sometimes confusing. And some of your descriptions of the way Thomas says things is out of character. Remember, this is a series of very strange events, Thomas should be really freaked. But he isn't. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe in you mind he lives in some place where things like this are more commonplace. You did a good job overall, and my advice to you is to keep writing! Practice will buff out the imperfections! Good Luck! :)
2
2
Review of Beastly  
Review by Tempus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Oooooooh. Dark. I especially like your fourth segment. And the ending is great, with an unexpected twist that makes sense.
After all the hate that you've had inflicted upon yourself, you will change for the worse and no matter who tries to help you, only you can change yourself for the better.
Job well done.
3
3
Review by Tempus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is very descriptive, sometime I'm thinking a little to much. But I know how it is, this dog is like your child. I personally love basset hounds and if I were able to, I would magically appear and pet your adorable Boo.
This is a nice story, and I thank you for sharing your story.
Tell Boo hello for me!
4
4
Review of Perfect  
Review by Tempus
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this story. Your description of the events that led to the climax of the marriage was beautiful.
I would however, add a few more commas in different places to break things up. I got a little lost sometimes. :) But grammar and punctuation are small potatoes.
There was a lot of crying. Which I'm not used to because I hardly ever cry. So it was a little difficult to relate in that way. However, I really felt that the way you described the hidden enchantment with Taylor, was spot on. I have felt these sort of feelings before myself, and I identified with that aspect.
Overall, this is a very personal story that makes me feel as if I have been granted a look behind the curtain to see the soul of this character. Job well done. Your writing is amazing.
5
5
Review of Abyss of the Mind  
Review by Tempus
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ahhhh. How I feel your pain. Though for hitting writers block, you made a damn good poem!
6
6
Review by Tempus
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!
I read your story and really was intrigued by the way that you wrote it. Though sometimes it was hard to follow, I thought it was cute! I think it would be better if you explained a little more. I am familiar with Green Lanterns in general, and I know best Hal Jordan. I am not however, familiar with Green Lantern Eternal. Is this something you came up with on your own?
Anyways, I'm a sucker for romantic comic book stories, and there is not much on this site about Green Lanterns at all, so kudos to you!
-Tempus
7
7
Review by Tempus
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I like how this is going. Reluctant drunk dude getting into some serious s***! Keep going! I'm hooked now.
8
8
Review by Tempus
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hey! Good job! I love poetry, especially when it rhymes!
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