I love this poem. It's a wonderful, involved story, told beautifully. You've used all the senses to set the mood, really drawing the reader into the tale. It's such a sad poem, really, but it's a lovely, haunting, sweet sadness. The reader can't help but feel for Emily, trapped there, and hope that someday a new family will come to ease her loneliness. But I don't understand the last line. Perhaps I'm just being dense, but I don't get it... Otherwise, great job!
You have captured almost exactly the feelings I have when I walk along the beach. However I prefer to listen to the sounds of the ocean, not the sounds of annoying children You've painted a beautiful, peaceful picture here. The poem flows smoothly, creating a very serene atmosphere, so that the reader can almost hear the waves breaking against the shore. Masterfully written poem!
Like I said, I'm really flattered that you invited me, and I can't wait to see what I come up with, and what all the other wonderful minds here create. Great idea. Obviously, you know what you're doing, since this is the 3rd edition! Good luck, and if there's anything I can do to help (even tho I'm just a lowly black case)
The beauty of this poem really touched my heart. I am a nature lover, and I felt as if I were walking along with you, enjoying the peace and loveliness of each of these gifts of mother nature. I am rapidly becoming a huge fan of your writing.
This is a beautiful piece of writing! The images you create are stunning, and the story itself is elegantly told. The rhyming is also nicely done. Nothing seems forced. Every rhyme is natural, and makes the poem flow smoothly from one line to the next. The picture at the end is gorgeous. Did you do it? I'm glad to see someone is writing about this. I haven't seen many stories or poems about the phoenix, and I think it's a fascinating creature. Keep up the good work!
You really have a gift for putting words together! This is a great way to introduce a difficult concept, and make it so that anyone can understand it. Besides the fact that it's polished, funny, lyrical, and just plain entertaining. I don't see a single thing wrong with this poem. I wish I could write half as well!
This is a wonderful, creative way for one to open up to strangers. I've seen other biographies in other ports, but none quite like this. The small graphics here and there really add interest, visually and verbally. I enjoyed reading it, and find that you are the kind of person I would like for a friend. You freely admit your flaws, but care enough about yourself to also point out your positive attributes. I esp. like your bioblok quote, and the fact that it came from a fortune cookie, and you saved it. (I thought I was the only one who did that.) I intend to wander through your port some more, but so far, I like your writing style. Hopefully it carries over into your fiction
You've displayed your emotions so eloquently in this poem, I almost cried. Esp "it saddens me she might not know the man I came to be" I feel that way sometimes, that my Dad never got to see how I turned out.
This is a really touching poem, vivid and impactful. I esp liked "white velvet branches" - wonderful imagery! Great job. Keep up the good work!
This is a beautiful, visually vivid poem. You use all the senses, drawing the reader into a world of passion, sensuousness, and blissful peace, all with the rhythm of the ocean gently insinuating itself into the background.
The sestina seems to be a very difficult, yet highly interesting form of poetry, and I believe you did an admirable job. Keep up the good work!
Oh, I really enjoyed reading this! I wanted more, more, more! I don't think I've ever read anything quite like it, and the King references were outstanding! I've often wished I could fall into one of his worlds. You've borrowed from his, and made them your own. Wonderful work!
I did notice a couple of times where Stanley's internal thoughts were not italicized. I thought I'd let you know:
"At least now I know where that awful smell comes from"
"Since the accident, I haven't even wanted to get out of bed"
Hello there!
I always enjoy reading your work. (I am a returning member) I am a huge King fan, so I was pleased that you quoted him and used him as a sort of muse. I'm 33 now, and still don't like to hang any part of my body over the edge of the bed, or have my closet door open. And I HATE clowns.
This is well written. I like the conversational tone of it, but the words are still elegant and refined. Great job!
have a great day, and keep a light burning for me.
This is very creative and well-written, and funny, funny, funny. I love it when someone can think outside the box. I wish I could. I tip my hat to you, in this world and the next.
I like the story you're telling, it's nice and creepy, and you set the mood very well. It has a certain quality to it...if you read it aloud, it's almost hypnotic. (I can see parllels to "Nevermore" and "Annabel Lee."
I think "bode" should be "abode" -(bode is a verb, and means "to wait or to tarry" "abode" is a noun, and means "a dwelling place")
The only other comment I have is that the end seems a bit abrupt. The image that comes into my head is of a man trying to tell a story no one wants him to tell, so they silence him. Don't know if that's what you were going for or not.
All in all, I enjoyed the read, cause Poe is one of my favorites, and I think you've done a good job of taking his voice and making it your own!
You've created some lovely, vivid images here, that make me want to go visit! The poem has a nice rhythm to it. The only thing I would suggest, to maybe make it stand out just a bit more, is to get more descriptive with the colors...scarlet instead of red, gold instead of yellow, things like that...
I have to check out anything related to Stephen King. He is my all-time favorite. He has written in virtually every genre that's why I like him! He's even co-written a book about baseball (the Sox, I think) which I haven't read, because I don't care for baseball, but will probably read because he helped write it, and I love his writing style. Anyway, great poll!
I love how you mix fantasy with reality, the past with the present, the read with the imagined. I think I would probably have seen the dragon rather than a plain axe head too! But you also make an interesting point - the world would be a better place if everyone wasn't so suspicous of everyone and everything else. A beautiful piece of wistful writing. Great job.
Returning to the site! even though I had to leave for personal reasons, i am glad to be able to return (really I couldn't stay away - you and SMs just make the place too wonderful to leave for long!) Keep up the great work!
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Otherwise, great job!
You've painted a beautiful, peaceful picture here. The poem flows smoothly, creating a very serene atmosphere, so that the reader can almost hear the waves breaking against the shore. Masterfully written poem!
You freely admit your flaws, but care enough about yourself to also point out your positive attributes. I esp. like your bioblok quote, and the fact that it came from a fortune cookie, and you saved it. (I thought I was the only one who did that.) I intend to wander through your port some more, but so far, I like your writing style. Hopefully it carries over into your fiction