I LOVE THIS POEM! seriously.... i fell in love with it... i love your ability to uphold an AAAA rhyme scheme. I also enjoyed the creepiness of the stanzas. I thought the lysol and smell was genius and i'm pretty jealous that i didn't write this, myself! :) But in all seriousness, i do love this poem, and there are very few poems by current poets i fall in love with. as a matter of fact... i do believe this one is the first. I think you're a pretty rockin poet, my dear! :) Keep it up!
GREAT HOOK in the beginning. You lost me, however, towards the middle of the second section. Be sure to review your writings before submitting. I found a number of mistakes in the beginning. Also, be sure to look over your dates. If it's 2082, then a guy couldn't have published a book in 2098. Other than that, what I read was extremely good. Great imagery and descripton!
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