*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tome
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
132 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Because it was important. That Justin have it.

The second sentence of this part kind of...confused me, I guess. I don't really know what you were trying to say. It was important for Justin to have it? I think it can be worded better, I guess. Other than that, written perfectly as far as I can see.

What the HELL was that thing with the dreams all about? Yeah they did something wrong, but what was it? Talk about confusing. I really, really want to know what that was all about. Why do I get a feeling that won't happen for a while?

I love to see Drake in this chapter, and I'm glad the Uroona were back. It seems like they've been kind of distant for a while now.

Anyway, I'd like to see what the important thing about the necklace, too. That's kind of a bit...odd, I guess.

Nearly perfect chapter if not for that one confusing part. I hate to give you a 4.5 for one sentence, but it just wasn't perfect, so I can't give a five, I guess. I mean, you could have had half a dozen of those little mistakes and I still would have given you 4.5 stars.

Anyway, I can't wait to read more. I might do that a little later today.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tome