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112 Public Reviews Given
112 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
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Review of A quiz of science  
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
While I got a 5 out of 5, this would benefit from some kind of synopsis on the questions and the correct answers.
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Review of A Little Birdie  
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
SWEET!! I love it. I always wondered just how little that birdie was...
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Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
If this was Facebook, I'd "like" this image!
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29
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I'll start with the errors as I come across them:
"can be effect by the magnetic field" - I think you mean affect...more correctly AFFECTED (since the meaning is a verb, affect, and not a noun, effect).

"roque 'Inspiration' tries" - again, I think you mean rogue, with a G not a Q (I believe roque is a type of croquet game).

“but wait, there’s more! Only $19.95 if you edit today!” - all I want to say is THIS IS GREAT! (lol)

OK, it took me awhile to realize exactly what you were doing here, but now that I am half way through - I get it!
It's almost 3am (another sleepless night) so I admit I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer at the moment. I was going to drop the comments from above, but decided to leave them there (especially 'roque', since that was your reply, where as 'effect' was a quote from a reviewer).

Thank you for posting this compilation, it was humorous and effective. It will help me when reading those that review my work (if I ever get any), and it will help me in my reviews of the writing of others. I am always fighting for perfection, but will settle for a Johnny Walker Red and soda.
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Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Your perspective will change as you grow older and mature further. You will (hopefully) learn in time that perception IS reality, most especially in a professional setting (law office, medical office, etc). It doesn't matter to the general public what you know, how efficient you are, or how quickly you complete your tasks, what does matter to them is how they PERCEIVE the person that you are. Given the choice between a young, decent worker, and a similarly young, slightly less efficient but better looking job candidate, often the choice will go to the better looking candidate, especially if they are tohave any contact with the public, or the clientele.

Fair? No, it isn't fair. It's REALITY. Life is not fair, it never has been and it never will be. You can fight it all you want, but you WILL lose. The best you can do is not to hope that everyone else changes and goes along with how you think they should, but to change YOURSELF t fit a well established and time tested model for success.

I speak from experience, I am not the best looking, most educated, or most able bodied person around. I am a hard working, fast learning, caring, compassionate person. I stopped fighting for how things SHOULD BE and started working with how things REALLY ARE.... at about 30 years old. I have never had the "dream job", but I have (almost) always had A JOB, a PAYCHECK, some small earning to support my existence. Most of all I have been HAPPY, if not exactly content. There are always things I want, a smart phone, an fast computer, a nice new car. Are YOU willing to give those thing up yourself? Sell your computer, buy a shovel, walk to the fields and dig out your FAIR existence....or cowboy up, pull your life together, get the medical/dental care you need to better fit a more socially acceptable employment niche.

21 is young, but you don't realize this yet. You are too young to see it, as was I at that age. But believe me, you will, someday. When you turn an age that you now think of as OLD. But don't fear, when you get there you will find that it is never too late, you are never too old. So long as you are pre-death, then there is time to become the person you want to be.
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Review of Love  
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
So the review is supposed to be several times longer than the item being reviewed. I find that odd. Not that you, the writer, has any say in that, it just strikes me a odd.

Anyway, I liked your sad little love poem, or should I say lost love poem? A few errors, one being there is NO CAPITALIZATION to be found, and while you use commas, you use no periods.

Is it one long sentence? One mixed thought? One cry of self pity?

As for too, two, it, and to .... ummm, IT does not rhyme with the other 3 words, and while you did use all 3 "to" sounds (no fourth that I know of) perhaps a change should be considered. Several words could fit the rhyme...through, new, do...etc.

Thanks for posting, and keep writing!
32
32
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Fantastic! Chapter one had drawn me in and leaves me thirsting to read chapter two. It must be my lucky week, this makes two stories in a row that were absolutely fascinating, but this one had MORE, so that beats the other story. I look forward to Ch2, which I will probably read tomorrow.

I did find two spots where a word was missing, I cant remember where the first one was, but the second:
"Trying to slip past its defenses would a grueling," .... would BE a grueling.

Other than that I only found a couple of spots that could use commas to divide thoughts, but I get told I over use them myself, so my suggestion might not be valid.

Thanks for posting, and keep writing!
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Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A short and sweet poker story....similar to my luck while playing the game, short, and simultaneously opposing the result of my play, certainly NOT sweet. I fun little run through the play of this popular game, I liked it.

One thing though, "anti's"...I believe it is "ante's".... as in "ante up" not "anti up"...but I would not swear to it without consulting a dictionary (but I am pretty sure of it).

Thanks for posting, and KEEP WRITING!
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34
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Fun and lighthearted, with a twist and a dark ending. All the right proportions, mixed well and served up quick and short... just the way I like it! I didn't notice any typos, and the style of writing befits the grammar usage so I have nothing to comment on there either. I enjoyed this story tremendously.

Thanks for posting and KEEP WRITING!

One spot felt weird though....
""Hello me lad," this strange looking midget says. "I'm Johnny," holding out his hand." ... the "says" seems out of place, like it is the wrong tense...should it be SAID instead??? Your story, yours choice, I'm just putting it out there.
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Review of Trick or Tweet  
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
That is one of the deepest, scariest and most fascinating stories I have yet read on WdC. I had only planned on reading a little tonight, more tomorrow, maybe finishing it on Monday...but I was captivated, and read the entire thing in one shot. All I can say is WOW, so THAT'S how the world ends??

As for a review, I did not notice a single error in spelling or in grammar. Punctuation was correct and the flow was consistent. Then again I was so absorbed by the story I could have read right over every single one of my pet peeves in peoples writing.

You can count me as a fan! Thank you for posting, and PLEASE, keep writing!!
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Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I think you are telling the story of my own, personal, love life, or at least one specific chapter within. She won't return to me, she won't return to you.... these words fit hauntingly well, and ring perfectly true. So explore the universe, take the time to which you are so inclined, for that one is no longer yours, and also no longer mine.

Thank you for posting, and keep writing!!
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Review of The Encounter  
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Realistic and descriptive, I could put myself into the story and see the characters and the locations. This is a sign of good potential. I enjoyed the touching story, but some of the ways in which things were described were not always very clear...when you mention the death of the mother and the protagonist's vow to never use the comb again, it was unclear who you meant by "after HER death"....obviously it was not the protagonists death, but it could have been if that was how you wanted the story to go. There were other places where I felt perhaps English is not your first language, but overall you wrote it well so I do not know if it is or not.

I would suggest a slow re-read with focus on what YOU take for granted that WE should know or understand. There are some missing words, or unclear sentence structures, that a correction to would make your tale much easier to follow. Overall I liked it, and I feel sorry for the pretty girl having lost her love. A few easy edits and a re-write would really polish this story to a nice, warm, shine,

Thanks for posting, and KEEP WRITING!
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Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
For 18 you have unique insight into how the real word works...there is no "key" is correct, one must truly break-in. I followed the well worn path, college and University, and yet success evaded me because I was never doing that which I enjoyed. When I finally gave that up and did something for ME, something of lower material value, for lower wages, and worked harder than I ever had before, I found my own definition of success. I no longer had the extra money that I had before, I stressed more about covering the bills and I did not get to enjoy the creature comforts that once filled my life....but I slept much better at night, and I smiled a helluva lot more. I found my success in HAPPINESS...not in MONEY.

And still, today, I would not trade my sleep and my happiness for even the paycheck of Bill Gates.

Well, maybe for a few months...but certainly not forever!
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Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
CLASSIC!! You are my kind of REDNECK no matter where you hail from. I had always heard that a 'pikey' was the equivalent of a 'carnie' in my country (USA)...which is to say a Carnival Worker, those of rather dubious lifestyle and as gone with the wind as a gypsy... I never equated them to rednecks, but now that you have pointed it out I wonder how I ever missed it!

If going to the bathroom at night requires slippers and a flashlight, YMBAR!
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Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
As a proud supporter of our troops everywhere, thank you for posting this salute to these men and women. They deserve our respect and our gratitude, sadly it is given very little by so many, and so robustly by too few. Thank you and I agree,,,,AMEN!

Keep writing!
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Review of The Outside Room  
Review by TProano
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I enjoyed this tale of the price one pays to gain independence as a youth...it was very similar to my own experience, only in a much different place at a much different time. However it was still the same in the matters that seem more important than time and place. It brought back memories, both good and bad, and I finished the story having found it to be fun and provoking,

Thank you for posting this, and keep writing!!
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Review of Permeation  
Review by TProano
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I was enthralled by this story and the back and forth method of explaining the events of the past alongside the occurrences in the present, a simultaneous display of both cause and effect. I could put myself in the main characters mind, what would I do in the same position? How would I react catching my wife in her affair with my boss? I can only imagine, and I will never say. Sort of like the character, he never says either. But could I not provide my boss with the same, or a similar, act of justice. I knew it was him when he dialed the number from memory...would I have simply spun in my chair? I do not dare to think about it... for my end would be the same.

Thank you for posting a most enjoyable and thought provoking story. Keep writing!!
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Review of Lucy & a dragon  
Review by TProano
Rated: E | (3.5)
What a great start to what could be a very fun story. I have a few questions, but I am sure they are answered as the story progresses. If there was more I would have read it...so I ask, is there more? and where can I find it?

A few errors in spacing/line breaks, but I assume that is just HTML. Without line breaks it was hard (well, not HARD, but I had to pause and think) to tell where one persons words changed to the other persons words...but as I said, I think it is probably in HTML and not in the document where you are writing.

Thanks for posting, and keep writing!
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Review of EVEN  
Review by TProano
Rated: E | (3.0)
One quick note, Djinns is not correct...Djinn is the plural, where Djinni is the singular....saying Djinns is like saying Mices, where Mice is plural and Mouse is singular. Djinnis would be like saying mouses, but I do see it fairly often.

"throne-like chair where ancient Djinns had sacrificed their loved ones" = incorrect
"throne-like chair where ancient Djinn had sacrificed their loved ones" = correct

...just my two cents.

Thanks for posting, and keep writing!!
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Review by TProano
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a frightening tale of the cycle of grief... at first I thought I was reading my own biography from a few years ago, although the names had been changed to protect the innocent. Thankfully I cleaned myself up before the end of the story, and my life now has a different ending (I hope). Thank you for sharing this story, I can not really explain how true to my own life it is, or how I feel about it. I can't say I "like" it, because of the dark connotations regarding my own previous life that it recalls (times that I do not "like" so much as regret)...but it does evoke a response, and that is always a sign of good writing, whether they be positive or negative responses.

Thank you for sharing, and keep writing!
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Review of Abduction  
Review by TProano
Rated: E | (2.5)
I caught the first error right away...it's is a contraction for "it is", there is no apostrophe in the possessive "its splash" indicated the splash that 'it' makes, "it's splash" is not correct.

Reading the story being told in present tense seems to make it harder for me to follow, I do not think I could write like that...at least not for very long. It seems very different to me, at least to my personal writing style.

In the second to last sentence..."the outline of two doors suddenly glimmer to life before her" feels odd... I think that the subject "the outline" is singular, even though it is of "two doors"....so the action should be plural, this one thing "glimmers"... where as if it was two outlines (plural), those would "glimmer" (singular). I hope that makes sense.

Thanks for posting, and keep writing!!
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