There are some lines that could be merged I think, like "and here I am, falling for you yet again!" or "tearing me apart, just like the rest!" Other than that, you have a pretty consistent flow. The grammar and punctuation seems good to me. I love the emotion that you showed in this piece. Thank you for sharing!
I feel like this was written quite oddly... The only way I can think to give you a review is to write it as I think it might be seen correctly. "This is my thought, my theory: Some highly-intelligent humans use their wisdom to possess a preponderantly kind, empathetic demeanor. They use this to disguise themselves from others." I am not sure if this is what you truly meant by your words. It is an interesting thought. Thank you for sharing.
The wording in this can be a bit strange at times. There are a few errors in the flow, the spacing seeming odd and random. However, I like the message you are trying to portray. Thank you for sharing.
You could stand to use some more details between each speaking part of this piece. There are a few grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors as well. The names are mentioned really often, such as saying that same name in the same sentence more than once. I hope this helps with your future writings.
I feel like "vampire dreams" is repeated too often. Maybe you could've found other words to describe "vampire dreams" as a term and replace it here and there, so it wasn't quite so repetitive. However, I really like the words you used between. I see a few punctuation and grammar errors, but other than that I like this flow.
This is a lovely piece, but I do see some grammar and punctuation mistakes. Some sentences could be worded differently to flow better, but I really love this topic. You wrote about it very well, and it is easy to understand what you mean from your stand point.
I would recommend more punctuation in this piece. There are a lot of random capitalization, maybe if you added more spaces where those are, it would flow a little better. However, I really love the emotion in it. I hope you feel better.
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