There's nothing I love more than an epic fantasy series. Dragons, swords, magic - you name it, the thought gets me dizzyingly giddy. The only issue I sometimes have with them, is the heavy-going writing styles which feels like your battling your way through treacle to get to the good stuff. They're tough to read. There's a ton unfamiliar destinations and folklore to get your head around as well as keeping up with the story. That's why reading 'From the Breach' felt like a breath of fresh air.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this first chapter. It felt easy. You have a simple style which manages to make the reader feel instantly involved in your story. I was tempted to skip straight to your later chapters, as I'm sure you are looking for readers to give feedback on some of your more recent writing, but I felt like I couldn't miss out on what comes before - which is saying something.
Your world feels rich. Despite giving away very little about the bigger workings of this universe, you set the scene to this story well. The action is fast paced and your main character feels believable; the advice given by Branston's father in the past helps with this and is an interesting way of giving the character a history as well as filling in plot points. Your dialogue and interactions between characters felt natural.
In terms of pointers, I really don't have many. My only thought is to spend a little more time on description of characters/environments, but I know this is probably a personal preference.
I am really looking forward to reading the next chapter.
After the initial introduction, you quickly got stuck in to the story throwing us relatively quickly into the action. The ominous world of nightmares, which the residents of Durn lock themselves away from every night, isn't kept a secret from us for long. Your pace is well executed, and I found myself tensing at the thought of young Riko playing on his house's doorstep. Characterisation is also well implemented, and Riko's feisty, naive personality come across well. I also felt the interaction between father and son, and elf and boy, felt very natural and convincing.
I did, however, feel that the introduction of the elf was slightly rushed. I almost wanted you to try and scare me a little, building up to his reveal with a bit more tension. He is, after all, a dweller of the nightmarish world from outside. Another little pointer is in regards to your speech punctuation. When using speech, you are using a full stop instead of a comma before the 'said Riko' part.
For example this piece of speech:
"Don't way anything." said Riko.
Should read:
"Don't say anything," said Riko.
I hope you find this review useful. I look forward to reading the next chapter!
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