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2 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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Review by TheDreamWriter
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Chapter One:
Yet again, this a short chapter, but it is action-packed and get's going right from the onset. For that, well done.
However, I am confused. What happened to Layle and Ivy? And the Protector still hasn't been explained very well... Are the people attacking the village the same people at the end of the prologue? How much later on is this scene from the prologue?
Like I said, before, well done on the action-front, but the plot between the prologue and this chapter seems very jumpy... Maybe it's explained later on...
2
2
Review by TheDreamWriter
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Prologue:
This is a very brief introduction and it successfully conveys the structure of the village. Well done for your description, there.
However, I felt that the Protector appearing out of the lake happened far too suddenly and wasn't explained very effectively. I don't mean to sound harsh and you may ignore my comment completely, but I felt that the scene needed to be extended a little, perhaps introducing who Layle and Ivy are to the reader. You have started in the middle of an event and not explained how either are feeling or how they came to be in that situation. Other than that, though, I liked this introduction. I can't wait to read more :)
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