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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/underwing
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6 Public Reviews Given
163 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Jeannie
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a really heart-wrenching story that is so real and so personal and it must be very difficult coming to terms with the drastic changes the years have wrought in your lives.

How wonderful though that your Mum is still here albeit in part. I hope you are able to enjoy to the full the time you have left to share.

You captured me immediately with your introductory paragraphs. The story is very well written. There is nothing jarring or distracting. It just flows from one part to the next. It is very well written and I enjoyed reading it very much and could relate so well to your circumstances.

There is so much about our personal lives that make good writing material. Keep at it.

Jeannie.
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Review by Jeannie
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your introduction gained and held my interest. What was the point of this analogy?

I read on and saw the parallel.

Your article is well written. It expresses your frustrations and emotions but it left me feeling that trying to meet other's expectations was leaving you very heavily burdened.

Somehow you need to detach yourself from these expectations and find out what God requires of you and what you require of yourself and ignore the other expectations or let them find the rightful place in your life.

I get the impression that you are feeling like a piece of dough being pulled in every direction.

We are not meant to live this way.

Just because people input into our lives does not give them the right to hold it over us or to make us feel constantly obligated to them. There are times certainly, when this is the case, but not always. I have found that I can never really repay those who have been there for me or helped me in some way over the years but I can help others as opportunity allows and so the circle goes around and the world does keep turning.

Define who you are, know who you are and be who you are and let the expectations of others find their rightful place if any.

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Review of Deepest Blue  
Review by Jeannie
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have written an account in poetic form of one man's sacrifice to save others. Your use of language, flowing rhythm and rhyme made the poem easy to read and expresses a sensitivity that makes one feel like they are there observing and sharing the emotions.

In the first stanza, "I raise my eyes to you" sounds like you are talking to someone, presumably God, in my understanding. Is that so? And you are sharing with Him your thoughts about the death of this soldier and all that it means for others as well as for yourself personally.

Well done. You obviously have a flair for poetic writing. Keep up the good work!

Jeannie.
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Review of Addiction  
Review by Jeannie
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem is an expression of the addicts state of mind, it is more than words, it is feeling, desperation, despair. It is the plight of so many because addiction takes so many insidious forms.

If this is your own personal experience, talk to someone. You recognise the problem and that is the best starting point. Take the next step and talk to someone you can trust. Having worked in a counselling capacity alongside my husband who was a drug and alcohol counsellor for some years, I know that the more the problem is brought out into the open, the more a person can help themselves and find the extended help they need.

Well written, rhyming, couplets that convey a very real message.

Keep up the good work. It is obviously a means whereby you can give expression to what you feel and that in itself can be therapeutic.

Warm regards

Jeannie.
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