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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/urquhart
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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Vessel  
Review by Urquhart
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was excellent. Once I read the first line I knew the last one would either be funny or a weak attempt at profound, and I'm glad you went for the former. It was very funny, much better than I was expecting, you built up to the ending very well. I just have some minor quibbles. There should be a comma between 'completely' and 'filled' and between 'crowd' and 'his' (I told you they were minor, but I do dislike an under-comma'd sentence.) The mention of Kim Jong-Il seems incongruous, perhaps the Pope instead? Lastly, and I do mean lastly, 'trouble'? Really, 'a bit of trouble' the ending was great, as I've said, and I imagine you were probably going for understatement, but you had the chance to use a word that really emotes. I like 'ruckus', but that's just me. I realize I'm being a bit petty but that's mostly because I wish I`d thought of this.
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Review of The Last Cynthia  
Review by Urquhart
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I've been looking all over this site for a good sci-fi story, and I'm glad I finally found one. This was excellent, short though (I can easily imagine this being a fantastic novella) but I liked the choice of medium. The Journal captures the character well.
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