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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/valkyrie53
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Interesting start to a story, it works nicely. Changing formats (e.g. switching to diary form, etc.) can make a story more enjoyable.

I found some errors in your story:
- 'prolouge' should be 'prologue'
- 'collectivly' should be 'collectively'
- 'was found of the area' should be 'was found in the area'
- 'had been missing' should be 'are missing' or 'have gone missing'
- 'he had no expression'; everyone has an expression. Perhaps you could say 'vacant expression'?
- 'space between today.Demonologists' needs a space between the full stop and 'Demonologists'

Aside from these minor errors, I like your story so far. As it's factual and devoid of emotion at the moment, it makes what's going on all the more intriguing. Please write more!
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