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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vshif
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Review by ValerieShiflett
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
Again, I feel its a bit short. I mentioned in the review for the first one to connect them, well even if you don't connect all five you could connect every two or three parts. Especially if your continuing past the five parts it already has. I like that there is some dialogue but noticed that there was only awkward small talk. Its great to start that way but ending where you did leaves an uncomfortable feeling that isn't quite how a cliff hanger should work. Even if you weren't going to connect the pieces, I advise adding more to each part to better outline the characters and hint at foreshadowing if need be.
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