I laughed, but still I don'y want to break the illusion of happily ever after. What can I say. I write historical romance so I'm a romantic at heart. Thank you for sharing and keep writing. Stop by my port and read one of my chapters if you have time.
Bye,
Vikki
I liked this story. I could feel the joy the kids felt at being at the beach. I've always loved the water and partivularly the beach. When you wrote about the waves and the sand it put me in the picture. Alot was said in 277 words. Keep writing and thanks for sharing
Bye,
Vikki
How pretty. There's no one like a grandmother. I lost mine mnay years ago, but my love for her is as strong today as when she was alive. Keep writing and thank you for sharing this!!
Wow! I really enjoyed this story. I've always been fascinated by anything about the Civil War. Since conversation was only between two people at a time, you don't need dialogue tags. However they can enrich your story. Use actions they your characters may be doing as they talk. Remember that dialogue is just conversation. When we have conversation, one may have thoughts as they talk. Keep writing. Thank you for sharing!!
For the most part, I was able to follow who was talking. Could have used a dialogue tag when the policeman was talking. Good job on your first dialogue. I've written three books and I'm just getting a hang of it. Still have a long way to go. Keep writing and thanks for sharing!!
So delightful! I sent my son to catholic school for a few years and I'll never forget the help those nuns gave my son. He had a LD so I had to pull him out and put him back in Public school, but to this day, I know he learned more from them than all of other teachers he had!! Keep writing and thanks for sharing. This made me laugh and brought back good memories!!
There's nopain greaterthan that felt fromthe loss of a parent. Whether it is sudden as this one was or after an extended illness. The is the most excruciating pain one can feel. As she siad at the end her momma knew! keep writing and thanks for sharing.
War is so brutal. It effects so many people. I've been fortunate to never be in a situation like Renee found herself in, but my Brother-in-law was in Viet-Nam and still to this day he is suffering the aftermath of that conflict. My thoughts and prayers go out to this woman. Very good writing. I could feel Renee's panic. Keep writing and thanks for sharing!!
Thank you for sharing this. I'm in the process of self-publishing my first novel. I write Historical Romance, of which I am an avid reader. If you would I'd appreciate it if you would read the first five chapters of my first book that are in my portfolio. You are so right about editing. Getting the story on paper is the easy part. Getting it ready to be published is another.
This is very true. I've had friends like this that wanted me to be just like them to do what they do. It's exhausting to be with them. A true friend lets you be yourself and likes and respects you no matter what. This is very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing this! Keep writing!!
A sweet love story. For the most part well written. Would still have liked more involvement in the civil war. Still left questions in my mind. Why did Sly not go back to the army? This last part has more missed words so you need to go back and fix this. At times it took away from the story. Also, Brittney kills a man, yet nothing is said about how the general handled it. This would give you more depth to your story. I enjoyed reading this and would difinitely read other things you have written. The important thing is that you wrote an entire book. That is a major accomplishment. Keep writing!!
I have posted the first five chapters of my first book in my portfolio. I would love for you to read them and give me your opinion. Thanks for sharing this story!!
Vikki
Good start on the story. Interesting names. Watch word useage. Example here should have been hear. Some mispelled words. Example glimse should be glimpse. Sort should be short. The important thing is the story and you've definitely got a story!! I would read more. Keep writing!!
Well, a very interesting read! Story line is well developed and so are the characters. I particularly enjoyed how Brttney and Sly's love blossomed. Good job on building suspense about the possiblity of problems with the birth. Could have used more about Sly's injury and what is going to happen with the army. Now, over all, well written a few woord choices need to be looked at. Week should have been weak. Some mispelled words. Example: reigns should be reins. It's spell correctly at time and at other times,its wrong. I am highly involved in the story and I can't wait to read more!!
Story line sounds as if it would be interesting, but this is such a short glimspe that it is hard to tell. Names of characters do not seem to fit the time in history that this story is supposed to be set in. Why did her father order herto marry. Why didthey wait to consumate the marriage. There is enough her to peak my curiosity and I would be willing to read more.
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