I don't know what to say, except I don't know what you're trying say.In my way of thinking poetry needs to make a connection with the reader,I know you know the meaning but I don't think it's coming across to the reader or maybe it's just me.The use of metaphor and simile should weave the poem and the reader into the meaning of the poem,even if the reader's understanding is different from the writer's.Poetry is more than just clipped sentences,it needs to have feeling.When you're finished writing a poem you should feel like you left a part of yourself on the page.These are just my opinions and observations do with them what you will but please continue writing.
how right you are and it's up to us to keep them on their guard
keep on writing don't give them a break or they will break us
nice poem i can feel your anger and frustration but don't forget we need hope too
they say the first thought is best and i agree
but i believe we must dig deeper for the best words in order to get the ones which truely grab our emotion
good job keep it up
thank you for writing this poem.words such as yours which describe difficult and troubling times and events are sorely needed not only to memorialize the loved ones lost but also to help us heal.
thank you again
p.s.-i have my own 9/11 poem i plan to post soon
very well written and it flows well also exceot in a couple of spots
keep focused use words that accurately reflect your feelings and don't be afraid to use a thesaurus
above all enjoy yourself and keep writing
we need you
thank you for writing this poem
i enjoyed reading it
your poem touched my soul,it reminded of a time twenty some years ago when i watched a once strong man whither away and cross over
you have inspired me to write another poem about my father
thak you for writing this poem
i know how you feel every time they leave they take a part of you with them and sometimes it seems as though they don't leave enough to keep going.
i liked the poem it touched me but for such a heart wretching subject you could fill it with a little more emotion,reach into your soul and rip those words out.
good job thanks for writing this poem keep it up
i enjoy not only reading words but seeing them in a visually pleasing form.this poem about writing.com accomplishes this very well.i also like to write with a form that not only pleases the mind but the eye too.
thank you for writing this poem
it shows us that writing need not be boring
your poem touched me deeply,there are many places i'll
never be again.i'm going thru one of those experiences
at this moment in my life.sometimes the past comes back,like someone we haven't seen in many years and we wish we could go back and have that time with that person agian today but unfortunately time won't allow us this luxury.still i hope there may be an opportunity to start from a new place again.i'm just a
hopeless romantic.
thank you for writing this small poem it has been an inspiration.
very good this poem conveys the feelings i personally
have anguished over during the past two and a half years.how did you know?being seperated from loved ones is always difficult but time and space can be conquered with our memories
i like the way you put this poem together it reads very well.
thank you
i like the concept of the poem.what you are trying to say is very important and true.we all make choices in life that determine where life will take us and what the quality of that life will be also where we may end up or down in the after lifeyour
the only problem i see is you need to get the form,flow and rythem alittle smoother
good job, thank you and keep on writing
the poem is beautiful and as i read it i see many different interpretations.the one i prefer is a childs
symbolic death into a spiritual rebirth.
it is written well,flow,form and rhyme.
you also pack alot of punch in a few words which i think gives power to the poem
thank you i enjoyed reading it very much
we need to remember our roots and connect our children
to their past.In order to know where we are going we must remember where we came from...
you illistrate this very well
i enjoyed reading this poem very much
it sounds like you've been where i have been
thank god we're not there any more
to many people never make it back
and they need to hear from those who have...
keep it up good job
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