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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/whittymarie
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Review of The Job  
Review by Whitney Marie
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Since I have just entered a piece myself into a contest with a set amount of words, I know just how hard it is to construct a story with detail, imagery, and a clear purpose.
This is well constructed, and I like that you gave me, the reader, a clear image of the scene. That said, I think some of your diction could be more effective if it was more concise. For example, it might give you more leeway when it comes to stretching your word limit. For example changing "A green and yellow ooze" to "A yellow-green ooze" or "A chartreuse ooze" might help save some room for putting an 'it' after 'found' in the second sentence. Also I wasn't sure about the word 'shades' in the third paragraph.
I really got a sense for the character in just the one hundred word limit, which I thought was pretty impressive, and I thought it was a well crafted story, despite my critiques. Well done!
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