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6 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by GypsyRose
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
WOW. Powerful message! I substituted Facade for "facard" in my reading because I think that that was the word you wanted to use and it makes the chorus make more sense as I have no idea what a facard is :) This and a couple of other words that just didn't make sense to me in their context are about the only major stumbling blocks I see in this.

The lines after the "So", give me a sense that this is a second speaker although the content sound like your primary voice. It is a little confusing. It may be the way I read it but the verse structure is not the same in it as in the other verses and they may be why it sounds discordant to me.

Those final two line though, the repetition of the title gives this a strong ending.
2
2
Review of The Gargoyle  
Review by GypsyRose
Rated: E | (3.0)
The content is readily understood and the words you use conjure up strong images and emotions. The beat is a bit off in the second and third verse but that could possibly be remedied by using one word to replace two or rearranging the words in the sentence i.e." that I hear" could possibly become "that is" without losing either the momentum or the emotion

On a personal level I found it spoke well the feelings I felt when my mother died and I always like a poem or story that is relevent to my own life.
3
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Review of Comment-In-A-Box  
Review by GypsyRose
Rated: E | (3.0)
While it answered all of my questions and was quite through in it's coverage I found it tedious to read the same words over and over again. I appreciate a work that gives the same information in different words as that keeps my interest and makes me want to keep reading.
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