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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/winnipeg
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Review by winnipeg
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Extremely informative about the site's rating system in general, and some very good advice about such things as target demographics. I'm very new to this site, and it hadn't yet occured to me be promoting in certains areas or to certain people to garner more reviews. I cannot express how impressed i have so far been with this site in general.
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Review of Shining Armor  
Review by winnipeg
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
You have a very accurate and descriptive grasp of the language of this genre. I have seen the 'Knight-In-Shining-Armor-Finds-The-Dragon-And-Whaddya-Know-It's-Sleeping' far too many times, but you put an interesting twist on it.
My initial reaction by halfway through the story was that I did not identify with this knight. There was no point where I felt any sort of imminent danger for him because I could not identify with him. He was too sure of himself, whether or not that egotism was justified. Upon completing the read however, it seemed more likely you did not want us to identify with him, as in the end it became the dragon who was the sympathetic character. This leaves me feeling as though you should have gone farther in one of the two directions. I began to dislike him as he planned what he would do with his newfound fame, which turned out to be a positive, but it could have gone farther. Were the knight a bit more of an egocentric, you would literally have had me applauding that justice had been served upon his death. As it was you've given us a very clever juxtaposition of heroes, but little more than a chuckle's worth. Some very minor additions could have made it much more than that.

On the contrary it is not too outlandish to let the bad guy win once in a while. If the knight were even a bit more heroic, the death could have become a true tragedy, though I don't feel this is a change you should make. I only think that at this story's conclusion I wasn't quite sure whose side I was on.

You certainly have a talent for the genre which is difficult to express in so short a form. Keep it up.
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