Great story. You nail the point of view of a 13 year old girl perfectly I think. The pace is good too. We'll done. A little work with better grammar would make it a smoother read I think (the third sentence doesn't flow very well), but otherwise think it's great.
This is clearly a conversation you had with yourself on paper that you feel quite strongly about. I like the level of involvement you bring into it. It's a very powerful piece. I like it a lot. The only suggestion I have is to shut you out for a bit and read it as an instructor might and fix the little spelling errors and run on sentences. It's a good read. It could use a final polish. And yes the decision to believe or not has always been left up to each of us.
A very good tale. I loved it a lot. The characters were very believable, as was their growth. The cost of magic is clearly out weighed by the cost of infidelity. This is a great way to show what cost means to an average person. Most people make magic too easy. You don't, but you also don't make this a tale of vengeance and hatred. I like the mostly happy ending
Very good. I like that you use a creative way to bring in the vampires and zombies. There are a few problems with past and present tense getting mixed up. i also get bored momentarily in the background part. Is there i way to have the characters bring that out instead? Your dialogue is strong and believable. I really like the ending coming from her point of view too. Great story.
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