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Review by Falling Ocean
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed the main characters voice, and how the story flowed. Had a good idea of the bus driver just by the dialogue you gave for him.

You may want to cut out one or two sentences out about the protagonist's expectations of adults. Since "You know where you are with adults," and "Adults don't do stuff to be mean," get similar ideas across.

Thanks for sharing, and keep up the great work!
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