*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/writtenwonders
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Whisper Of A Name  
Review by writtenwonders03
Rated: E | (2.0)
I kind of just found this short story confusing. It kind of reminded me of some hard to understand parts in the bible. Then there were things said like, "the whisper of the name, it was silent". maybe this was just worded wrong. It was too rushed , too many transitions. Instead of maybe saying things like, "I am sad" you could have the character show it through action, a facial expression or tears, something like that. Its good to intrigue the reader with things unsaid, but when that secret involves the characters current state their needs to be solid clues as to whats going on from the beginning. The lady says, "Why do you run?" but the character wasn't running she was falling, then she was lost, and then she was treading in a pool.
I encourage you to keep up with the writing though, just remember you may know what but for the readers a clear picture needs to be painted using the senses as the guide.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/writtenwonders