An interesting story. You started off well and kept me in throughout. I think you did a good job setting up the suspense with the cell phone. I was pretty sure it was Marc calling her after the first text message.
However, I am not sure what happened to her in the pool. Was it Marc's spirit who did that to her? Surely she would have found out who or what killed her.
I thought your description of life after death was pretty chilling in itself.
Overall, a good story. However, I do think she would at least wonder who killed her and/or why.
You did a good job with this. You described the characters in good detail. I liked your little inserts where you where reliving a child's experience. That added a good touch.
I thought the dialogue was realistic as well. I thought Max's struggling to remember and speak about his memories was realistic.
I am somewhat confused as to what exactly happened to him. But, you did say that this was background for a story you wrote.
I enjoyed the beginning. It was very creepy that voice whispering in her ear.
I also liked the use of all caps it made it easier to read.
I have to admit though I lost the narration through the middle. When the woman suddenly killed her husband I was confused. You explained what happened but I feel the explanation could have been better.
An interesting story. I always wondered what would happen if characters in novels were actually real.
I think the story moved slow at times. There were spots where I had a hard time reading. That may have been because you put all the background in the front. Perhaps try to interject the background into the actual story. Just a thought.
You did well with this. You definitely took this story in a different direction then the prombt indicated!
It took me a while to get caught up into the story but I was caught towards the end. I think you had a great ending which was even better because it left you carefully hid the true shape of the monster.
I think you make some good points. I think the taking Christmas out is an attack on christians.
However, not all non-christians see it that way. Many of them just see it as having respect for people of different faiths who celebrate that holiday. Of course, if you are a different faith then why celebrate Christmas? It seems you are milking a christmas holiday.
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