A Stolen Passion

4,128 words

A rider diligently tacked up her horse in the stable aisle. She heard her instructor calling to her to hurry up, that she was the last one they were waiting for.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Hold your horses!" she called back to the instructor as she cast a glance to the line of horses and riders waiting to get outside.

Why do I always have to be the last one outside? She thought with a grimace as one of the riders started to scold her for holding everyone up.

"I'm done!" she shouted triumphantly as she unfastened the halter from her horse's neck and heard the halter clang against the stall door.

She stepped forward with her horse to follow the rest of the riders to the outdoor arena. As they reached it she cocked her head to the side and smiled happily as the large outdoor arena came into her range of sight. I love this so much, she thought with a content sigh as she patted her horse's neck and tried to calm her excitement.

The riders led their horses to the middle of the ring and gave their girths a last check before mounting. Lisa and her horse were the first to take their places on the rail. Soon, many of the other riders were following behind her and their bodies moved in a rhythmic slow swaying with their horses' walk. After two laps around the arena Lisa tensed and waited for the moment which was quickly coming up.

"Trot your horses!" their instructor bellowed over the wind and the riders obeyed her command immediately. Lisa gave her horse a light squeeze and he jumped into a smooth trot. She began to post and took a quick glance at her horse's inside shoulder and sat a bounce to get on the correct diagonal. Heels down, head up, hands steady, shoulders back, look where I'm going... Lisa mentally checked as she listened for their instructor's next command.

"Walk your horses!"

Lisa heard their instructor call out to them as they finished with three laps around the ring. She sat deep within the saddle and sat up straight as she asked her horse to walk. As they walked around the arena she looked outside of the ring and saw that spring looked like it had finally come. There were flowers of every color in bloom, and butterflies lazily flying in and out of the arena. This would be such a perfect day for a trail ride, but I think I'll just wash Bandit down after this, Lisa thought to herself as she relaxed in the saddle and enjoyed the cool breeze.

"Canter your horses twice around, then line your horses up in the middle of the ring! I'll tell you what we are working on today once everyone is in the middle."

The riders shortened their reins as they heard their instructor's command and prepared for the canter. Lisa sat deep within the saddle, tightened the inside rein, and gave Bandit a nudge with her inside leg. The gelding shot forward into a canter and Lisa relaxed herself so that she could sit his burst of speed. She counted how many laps she had completed while she enjoyed her horse's canter and the exhilaration of riding.

That's the last lap! Lisa thought excitedly as she turned Bandit and lined up in the middle of the arena. She watched the other riders as they finished up with their laps around the ring. There were some who barely moved in the saddle and others who had a harder time sitting their horse's canter.

The last rider finally turned into the middle of the ring and the riders waited for their instructor's next command.

"Okay, today we will be working on jumps which might scare the horse. Canter your horses over the three combinations on the left side of the ring then return to the center of the arena. Lisa, you will begin first, are you ready?"

Lisa nodded to her instructor and steadied her nerves as best as she could. She stole a glance at the jumps which she was supposed to jump over. The first two jumps were crosspoles set at the same height which was two feet, and they were decorated in bright colors and flowers. The last jump was the highest at three feet, and was adorned with streamers and flowers which fluttered in the air. Lisa tightened her reins and cued Bandit for the canter. The gelding again bolted forward with a burst of speed and Lisa tightened her reins to collect him into a slower canter. She circled him in a large circle and then guided him to face the first jump.

They quickly approached the first fence, and Lisa counted the strides before going into the two point. Three, two, one, up! Lisa thought as she rose up onto her horse's crest and gave him rein to stretch his neck as they flew over the fence. The next fence was only two strides between so she gathered Bandit's reins together and made sure that he stayed collected between jumps. This jump they easily flew over and Lisa savored the moment of flight and the exhilaration of jumping. The last jump loomed ahead and there were several strides which separated them and the jump.

She watched the streamers dance in the wind and felt Bandit hesitate for a moment. Come on boy, we can do it! Lisa thought to herself as she squeezed him forward and felt his hesitation disappear. Not knowing it, she had tensed up once she had seen that they were on their last jump, which caused Bandit to hesitate for a moment. The gelding could still feel his rider holding back, and this made him unsure of the jump ahead. Lisa counted as they came upon the last three strides leading to the jump and she felt the wind pick up. The streamers cracked in the air and Lisa counted the last three strides. Three, two... She thought as she counted the last stride and went into a two-point but something was wrong! Bandit stopped at the last second in front of the jump and she was catapulted forward.

Oh no! Lisa thought as her stirrups were lost and she watched as she fell forward into the white fence. It all came in slow motion, her body colliding with the fence and her mind screaming out in fear. The last sensation which she felt was excruciating pain as her body made impact with the fence and then a blackness took over her senses.

**************

Where am I? Lisa asked herself as she finally opened up her eyes and was blinded by a white light. She blinked her eyes for a few seconds and then looked where she was. She could feel a bed underneath her, and could see that the room which she was in looked like a hospital room.

Why am I in a hospital? What happened to me? Lisa probed her mind for details, and felt a terrible pain shoot through her body just trying to remember it. The memory was foggy, but she remembered falling into a white fence, and the sound of wood splintering. I...fell? She asked this question to herself as she took a closer look at her surroundings and found get-well cards with flowers.

What is going on?! I've fallen off before, but I've never been sent to the hospital! What has happened to me? Where is my Mom? Lisa thought in a panic as she tried to sit up in her bed and fought the pain and dizziness which accompanied this feat. After sitting up in the hospital bed she tried to turn herself over to the edge of the bed to try and stand up. This proved to be even harder than sitting up ... it was impossible. Oh my God! My legs! I can't feel them! Lisa thought as her breathing quickened and she began to breathe harder. She struggled to move her legs, to even wiggle her toes but she couldn't feel anything from the waist down.

"HELP ME!" She screamed out at the top of her lungs to anyone who might be listening. She couldn't breathe, and her breaths were becoming quicker and shallower. Lisa felt the room was becoming dimmer and blacker by the second.

"Please help me..." Lisa rasped out as the room spun before her eyes and she finally collapsed upon the bed. The ceiling was spinning before her eyes, nothing was stable, the world didn't feel like it was real. It just felt like a dream... a really bad dream. That she would just wake up, and be in her bed waiting to start off another day with her favorite activity, which was riding. Tears welled up in her eyes as she attempted again to move her legs and found that they were completely numb. Why won't anyone wake me up? This isn't real, this is fake. It has to be... Lisa thought as her breathing somewhat steadied and she watched as the ceiling stopped spinning.

"Doctor! She's finally awake!" Lisa heard an unknown voice call out and she tried to look up, but found that she didn't have the strength to do it. She heard hurried footsteps enter her room and momentarily saw a blonde woman's face hover above hers. The rest of their conversation sounded like hushed whispers and Lisa closed her eyes as she tried hard to catch any of their conversation.

"We need to call her mother and tell her that her daughter is finally awake. Nancy, get on the phone immediately and call her up."

"Right away doctor." Lisa heard the woman say as she heard her footsteps leave the room. Lisa could sense that the doctor was hovering over her, and she watched as a light was shined in her left eye. The right eye was next and then after several seconds of it flashing in her eye it was gone.

"Lisa, can you hear me?" The doctor asked in a loud voice and he leaned closer to hear if she answered him. Lisa tried to form words, but she couldn't. She was too shocked by everything which was happening, and she was afraid if she said anything to this man it might mean that all of this was real. She heard him ask the question again, only this time it was in a louder voice than before. She wanted to ask what was going on, and why she was here, but she couldn't. The words wouldn't come and she couldn't find the strength to speak. After several minutes of silence she heard a tired sigh and then footsteps which left her room.

She was alone again. Alone in a strange world where her family was gone, her life had changed, and her lower body couldn't move. I want my Mom, I want this all to go away. Why won't it go away? Why can't I wake up? Lisa asked herself as she fell into a troubled sleep.

**************

"Lisa? Sweetie? Please wake up..." Lisa heard a familiar voice plead and her eyes fluttered as she looked to see who it was. At first when she opened her eyes everything was black and fuzzy but after a few seconds the room came into focus.

"MOTHER!" Lisa cried out at the top of her lungs as she shot up from her bed and went to hug her mother. As soon as she sat up though she felt a dizziness take over and felt the sensation of falling backwards. No! Not again, I just want Mom to hold me, I just want to feel something real... Lisa's mind thought desperately as she flailed her arms in the air in an attempt to hold onto her mother. Suddenly, Lisa felt two arms envelop her petite body and she quickly wrapped her arms around her mother.

"Mom ... is this real? Or just a nightmare? I don't want to believe this is real. I can't feel my legs, and I'm so weak I can't even sit up ... help me Mom." Lisa pleaded as she held her mother tighter and buried her head within her mother's dark brown hair. She knew that she sounded like a little child, but she felt as helpless as a newborn babe. All which she wanted was her mother's comfort, and to hear from her mother that this was nothing but a nightmare. That she would wake up soon.

"Shhh, baby, shhh. It's okay... I'm right here with you, I'm not going to leave you." Her mother said in an unsteady voice and Lisa felt her mother's body shake. This scared her more than anything, her mother was always strong for everything, and for every situation. Lisa began to shake with her mother and held her even closer than ever.

"Mom, you're scaring me ... what's happened to me? Why are you crying?" Lisa asked as her own voice choked up and the first tears began to run down her cheeks. She listened as her mother took a deep, shaky breath and her body stopped shaking. Her mother didn't answer her questions but only held her daughter tighter. Lisa lost herself in her mother's warm embrace and closed her eyes as she fought her own tears. The sounds of footsteps echoed and Lisa looked up to see a doctor standing in the doorway.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted. May I come in or do you need time alone?" The doctor asked as he looked from mother to daughter.

"No, it's okay. Please, come in. I can't tell Lisa what has happened ... are you sure that it's permanent?" Lisa's mother asked as she released her daughter from their embrace and held her hand tight. Lisa gazed at the doctor and waited for an explanation, but with the grim look on his face she knew that it must be serious.

"Lisa ... let me start off by saying that you are very lucky to be alive. Your helmet saved your life and I don't know if you would be here right now if you hadn't of worn it. With that said, I must tell you..." At that moment the doctor paused in mid-sentence to take a deep breath and adverted his eyes to look at the floor. Once he had taken his deep breath he returned his eyes to meet hers and opened his mouth to speak again.

"Lisa, you are permanently paralyzed from the waist down. You will never be able to walk again, or for that matter move your legs. All which I can say with the kind of fall you had is that you are very lucky that you are still alive."

Lisa stared at the doctor in disbelief. Her first thought was that this was joke, a sort of sick joke. Then her mind rambled on to convince herself that again she was caught in a bad nightmare. But, she finally knew that this wasn't true as she felt her mother gripping her hand tighter than ever and she looked down at her hand to see blood. She had driven her own nails into the palm of her hand which wasn't being held and there were small spots of blood.

This...is real... I'm paralyzed from the waist down, that's why I couldn't move my legs or wiggle my toes. Oh my God, what am I going to do?! Lisa thought as she glanced at her mother and saw that she was nearly in tears. She couldn't stay strong anymore, Lisa cried out in agony and fell into her mother again.

"Why, why, WHY?!" She bawled out as the realization of everything hit her hard and she could only think of asking this question. The world began to spin again before her eyes and even her mother's embrace couldn't save her. The dizziness and blackness took over her senses. Her body became completely limp and she allowed the blackness to take over.

**************

Lisa felt that her mother was by her side throughout the whole time she blacked out. Her mother never let go of her hand and held it tight. Late within the night though she heard a nurse tell her mother that she had to leave. At first her mother protested but then she listened as she finally conceded and left.

She sat alone in her bed and listened to the deafening silence which surrounded her. The silence suffocated her ... the truth crippled her in body and spirit. She couldn't feel any part of her body, and she felt completely empty inside.

Lisa closed her eyes to try and sleep but the fall which she had came back to her full force whenever she tried to fall asleep. It felt as if she was in the saddle again, except this time she wished anything but to not be in it. Unbridled fear took control as she remembered her last moments before she hit the ground. Lisa saw her last image before she blacked out come to her and her entire body began to shake.

She opened her eyes and then closed them again to make the images go away. But, whenever she closed her eyes the terrifying scenes came back full force and she was paralyzed with fear. Lisa prayed for them to go away, she prayed for all of her riding memories to go away.

I'm never going to ride again, and I never want to see another horse again! Lisa thought angrily as sleep finally took her and she slept with the same images playing over and over within her head.

**************

The days stretched into weeks and Lisa finally came to accept what had happened. After a week within the hospital she returned to her home, but life didn't begin again as normal. Lisa fell deeper and deeper into depression, her life which she had known taken away from her in a blink of an eye. Two weeks after the accident, her mother took her outside to take a drive in the car. Lisa stared disinterestedly out the window and her once joyful blue eyes were now empty.

"Sweetheart, isn't it a beautiful day outside?" Lisa's mother asked as she glanced at her daughter and smiled.

"Yes," Lisa responded in a flat tone as she turned to look at her mother and then decided to stare outside instead. Her mother's smile disappeared as she watched her daughter's reaction and she grabbed Lisa's hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.

"Sweetie, I'm taking you out for a surprise. I really hope that it cheers you up dear..." Lisa's mother said in a hopeful voice as she gave her daughter another reassuring squeeze.

Lisa didn't feel too excited about the surprise, but that was how her emotions had been since the accident. She cried until she couldn't anymore and then there seemed to be no emotions left. She felt no happiness, and no excitement, just sadness. Lisa watched the road outside of her window as it winded across wild landscape and she felt that the ride was strangely familiar. They drove for an hour and the feeling that this road was familiar grew as they came closer to their destination.

"Oh no..." Lisa whispered to herself as she saw the paddock of horses and a big white stable looming ahead. No... I never wanted to return here again. Why do we have to come back here? She thought as she panicked and her body began to shake.

I must stay strong... I have to at least say good-bye to my stable mates and my instructor. Lisa thought to herself as she breathed in slower breaths and squeezed her mother's hand hard. They drove up to the stable entrance and Lisa squinted her eyes to see that there was a whole group of people waiting. Lisa's mother stopped the car just a little bit away from the group and got out of it. She waved to the group standing there and went around to the side of her car to get out Lisa's wheelchair. Once it was out she went to the passenger's door to open it and eased her daughter into the wheelchair.

Lisa put her feet onto the foot petals and waited for her mother to push her to the group. So many of them looked frightened to even touch her, as if she was a fragile doll that might break. Their faces looked so sad, especially her instructor who looked the most stricken of all. Her instructor was the first to move forward out of the group. At first she took one hesitant step at a time towards Lisa and then she ran towards her student. Lisa watched as her instructor bent down onto her knees and gave her a big hug.

"I'm so sorry Lisa!" She whispered into Lisa's ear as she tightened her hug and Lisa could feel hot tears on her neck. Linda... she's crying for me? She never cries, I've never seen her cry once... Lisa thought as she returned her instructor's hug and fought her own tears which were threatening to overflow.

"I shouldn't have made those jumps, I shouldn't have made you jump first. If Bandit and you had seen someone else jump first maybe you wouldn't have fallen off. I'm so sorry Lisa, this is all my fault." Her instructor said as she cried even harder and Lisa rubbed her back to soothe her crying, to make her feel better somehow.

"Don't apologize, please. I don't want you to cry, somehow I'll get used to this new life. I just want you to do one thing for me." Lisa told her instructor in a somewhat steady voice.

"What is that Lisa?" Her instructor asked as she parted from their embrace and looked at her student.

"I want you to sell Bandit." Lisa stated simply and she heard everyone gasp in reaction to this statement. All of the riders, her mother, and instructor, knew how much she loved Bandit. When her mother had first bought the horse for her she asked Lisa if she wanted a car instead of the gelding. The young teen quickly said no to having a car instead of a horse and she took all of the responsibilities easily. She had spent nights within the geldings stall when he was lame or colicked, and she spent almost everyday riding or seeing him.

"Are you sure...?" Linda asked hesitantly, never in the world would she think of Lisa giving up her horse. But, this was a terrible injury, which crippled her for life. She knew that this might make her have a fear of her horse and other horses for years, or even the rest of her life.

"Yes, I am sure. Every time I think of my horse, or horses in particular I get so scared. I don't think that I'll ever ride again," Lisa vowed as she looked into her instructor's eyes and saw that she was slowly nodding her head.

"You had such a passion for riding, and so much talent. I'll miss teaching you, and seeing you. I'll make sure that Bandit gets a good home. Do you want to see him one last time?" Linda asked her student as she hoped inside that she would say yes.

"No, I can't, I'm sorry. I'm not ready to see him again, especially after what has happened." Lisa watched her instructor's hopeful face as it fell but she nodded and smiled to her student. Linda returned to the group of people and one-by-one Lisa's stable mates went up to hug their friend and fellow rider. Lisa comforted them when they cried, and smiled when they looked more distraught then how she felt. As the last rider returned to the group Linda walked forward to her student and bent down on one knee in front of her. With careful fingers she wiped away Lisa's tears and gave her one last final hug.

"You take care sweetie, and keep your chin up and those shoulders back. Even though that you are hurt like this, you still are who you are. Which is Lisa Lilly, the finest rider and the sweetest girl around. And I feel honored to have taught you and to know you. Keep in touch, okay?" Linda released her student from her hug and gave her a proud smile. She could see that her words had nearly brought the girl to tears again so she gave her hand a soft squeeze.

"I will. Thank you so much for everything!" Lisa exclaimed as she smiled and finally felt happiness again. I may be crippled for life, and I may have lost my passion for riding, but I won't lose my passion for life as long as I have my family and my friends.