What I liked: You used a very unique style that I have never read before. Going outside of your usual style is always good! Most of the characters seemed to have at least a little personality (which is impressive considering the limited amount of dialogue for each individual)
Constructive Criticism: I think it would be difficult to complete this story while utilizing the same style throughout
Overall Impression: Unique, Intriguing, and Mysterious.
I read about 20 pages, and if I had more time I would read more. All I can offer you is encouragement you have wonderful fluidity in your writing. I have no doubt that you will get this novel published, it's very original and intriguing. Great work, my friend you truly have some skills!
Absolutely wonderful guidelines for me to follow. All of your points really flesh out a story making characters individual and believable. Even when I can't think of anything to write I have something to look over. Thanks for great and worthwhile advice.
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