SpongeBob CYOA

One morning, SpongeBob was heading to work. On his way there he saw Squidward and Sandy making out.
SpongeBob: Barnacles! What's going on here?!?
Squidward: Oh... Um...
Sandy: SPONGEBOB!!! What are you doing here?!? Alright, I confess! Squidward's my new boyfriend! I'm allowed to go out with whoever I want!
SpongeBob: Well, it just seems weird... You going out with SQUIDWARD?!? What does he have that I don't?!?
Sandy: Alright... I guess it's time to go back home to Texas...
SpongeBob: Okay. No loss to any one here in Bikini Bottom.
*Sandy gets in a rocket, and blasts off. She crashes into the island that they show quite often, and Sandy, and her rocket, catch on fire*
Sandy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL, RESIDENTS OF BIKINI BOTTOM!!
SB: ooooooooookaaaaaaay... Whatever.
Squidward: My one true love... GONE!!
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward! Your nose turned into cheese!!
Squidward: What are you talking abo- *pulls off a small chunk of his nose* It must be from when I was making out with Sandy!! This tells me one thing! Never date a squirrell!!!
*Patrick walks by, and notices Squidward's nose is now cheese.*
Patrick: Hey, Squidward! Your nose is cheesy! You weren't dating a squirrell... were you?
Squidward: Oh... Um... Well...
*Patrick takes Squid's nose, and takes a bite of it.*
Pat: EW! I hate cheddar!
Krabs: Where's all the costomers? I let Pearl do this so we would attract more costomers!!
Squidward: *sarcastically* Wonder why?
Krabs: What happened to your nose?
Squid: Don't ask...
Krabs: We've got to do something to attract customers!!
*some random guy walks in*
Some Random Guy: I sure could go for one of tho-*notices Pearl in a bikini* MY LEG!! *the random guy runs out of the KK*
*Krabs notices Squid's nose*
Krabs: Hmmm... Cheddar... That's hard to come by these days!! *walks to his computer, and goes to eBay.com*
Pearl: Why isn't anyone coming? I look ssssssoooooooooo coral in this bikini!!
Krabs: B-B-But I-I need m-my money!!
Pearl: SHUT UP, DAD!! NOBODY LIKES YOU!!
*all of a sudden, a knife comes crashing through the window killing Pearl, killing her*
Krabs: OH, NOES!!! PEARL!!
Squidward: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAY!!! Um... I mean, who could do such a thing...
*all of a sudden, Bubble Buddy comes in through the door*Bubble Buddy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I WILL TAKE OVER BIKINI BOTTOM!! Oh... I got the whale... I was aiming for you, SPONGEBOB!!!
SpongeBob: But why?!?
Bubble Buddy: BECAUSE!! LAST WEEK WAS THE SECOND ANNUAL "LEIF ERIKKSON DAY," AND I INVITED YOU, AND YOU NEVER CAME!!! Or maybe I sent it to the wrong address...
Bubble Buddy: The Krusty Krab will be my first target!! *BB Pushes a button* *KK explodes* DIE, PEOPLE!!!
Bubble Buddy: Now that this moronic eatery is destroyed, TIME FOR THE NEXT ONE!!!
*BB pushes a button; the Chum Bucket explodes* *Plankton comes walking by*
Plankton: HEY! WHATCHOO DO THAT FOR?!? *Plankton starts to cry*
Bubble Buddy: Now, I need more teammates!
Zombie-Pearl: Uuungh... join Bubble Buddy's team, I will...
Zombie-Sandy: Me, tooooooooo...
BB: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHA!!! Now, for my first order of business... Hang these fliers saying "Join Team Bubble Buddy" everywhere in Bikini Bottom!
Krabs: NOOOOOO!!! PEARL'S... ALIVE?!? Now I won't get money for life insurance!!!
Narrator: The Next Day
*Plankton, Flats, the Flying Dutchman, and the TattleTale Strangler get interviewed to see if they can enter Team Bubble Buddy*
Bubble Buddy: Okay... Mr. Sheldon J. Plankton, why do you think you should enter Team Bubble Buddy?
Plankton: Um... Karen thinks I should get a hobby, other than trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula.
BB: Good enough for me, you're in! NEXT!
*Flats enters*
BB: So, Flats, why do you think you should be a member of Team Bubble Buddy?
Flats: I like to kick people's butts.
BB: Whatever, you're in. NEXT!!
*Flying Dutchman enters*
BB: Alright, why do you wanna be on the team?
Flying Dutchman: Because............. I just do, OKAY?!?
BB: Sure, why not? NEXT!
*TattleTale Strangler enters*
BB: Why do you wanna join, Mr. Strangler?
TattleTale Strangler: Well, it all started whe-
BB: Okay, good enough for me, you're in!
Narrator: Meanwhile...
Krabs: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! PEARL'S STILL ALIVE, AND I WON'T GET THE LIFE INSURANCE!!! I got it! I'll start an anti-Bubble Buddy team of my own! *hands out fliers reading: "Join Team Krabs- only costs $50 to enter"*
*soon, SpongeBob, Patrick, and (Krabs somehow managed to talk nim into it) Squidward*
*there is a knock on Krabs' door*
*MermaidMan and BarnacleBoy enter*
BarnacleBoyYeah, uh, we're here to--
MermaidMan: Destroy the... EVVIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
Krabs: Okay... and the money?
*BarnacleBoy mumbles, giving Krabs the money*
Narrator: Meanwhile...
*there is a knock on Bubble Buddy's door*
*the Dirty Bubble and ManRay enter*
ManRay: Good evening. I am Ma--
Bubble Buddy: Yeah, whatever, join!
Dirty Bubble: Wow, that was easier than I thought.
*BB calls all his team members, to give them their jobs*
Bubble Buddy: Okay!
Plankton.................... I don't care... go get the formula...
Flats....................... Yeah, uh, go kick people's butts.
Dutchman.................... Go make me some pie.
Strangler................... Go be SpongeBob's bodyguard again.
Strangler: Oh, God, that brings back memories... *shudders*
Bubble Buddy: Whatever. ManRay! Ugly Bubble-
Dirty Bubble: Um, I prefer dirty bubble!
Bubble Buddy: AND I DON'T CARE! As I was saying, you two do the cleaning! Zombie-Sandy! Zombie-Pearl! Let's play "Go Fish!"
Narrator: The next day...
Krabs: Let's go ge-- Squidward! You have a new nose! And normal sized!
*after a game of "Go Fish"*
Bubble Buddy: I win again! One more game!!
Zombie-Pearl: Uuungh...
Zombie-Sandy: NOO! I WON'T PLAY ANYMORE!!
BB: Hey! Those vocabulary books paid off! And what do you mean you won't play?!?
Zombie-Sandy: I'm goin' back to my fianc`ee, Squidward!
BB: GRRR!!! FLATS! I WANT YOU TO GO ATTACK TEAM KRABS, AND STRANGLER, GO BE SPONGEBOB'S "BODYGUARD!!!"
Flats and Strangler: Whatever...
Narrator: Later...
Squidward: SANDY! Is it really you?!?
Zombie-Sandy: Yeah! I thought we-- HEY!! YOU HAVE A NEW NOSE! I DON'T WANNA DATE YOU NO MORE!!!
SB: OUT OF MY WAY! OUT OF MY WAY! CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S GONNA KICK MY BUTT?!?
Old Man: Hi, there, young people! Nice day today!
Some Guy: SO YA LIKE KICKIN' BUTTS, DO YA?!? WELL, WE'LL SHOW YOU OLD, MAN!!!
Strangler(in disguise): Hey, you! You look like you could use a bodyguard!
Strangler(in disguise): So? Are you in need of my services?
SB: I might come back later for you... AHHHHHHHHHH! CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S STILL GONNA KICK MY BUTT?!?
Some Guy: HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON, OLD MAN?!?Old Man: I love the young people!
*SpongeBob arrives at his house; Flats arrives shortly afterwards*
*SB puts on a blindfold*
SB: Okay, I'm ready...
*Flats punches SB, SB is unharmed* *SB finds out he's unaffected, and continues with his regular life* *eventually, Flats faints, and SpongeBob holds a fist in the air while telling Gary not to do what Flats does*
*Mrs. Puff goes by SB's house while going to her insurance company*
Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob! You beat up a new student! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT!!!
*meanshile...*
Squidward: Stupid nose... Before I hated my gynormous nose, and when I finally get a regular sized one, I lose my girlfriend! Hey... Who's this hot chick?
*stares at Mrs. Puff*
Squidward(with a black leather jacket and a Harley Davidson): Hey, babe... Wanna take a spin on my hog?
Mrs. Puff: If it gets my mind off SpongeBob, I'll do it!
*Krabs notices Squid and Puff together*
Krabs: WOAH! What are you doing with this... this... creature?!?
Puff: Eugene! It's not what you think!
Krabs: THAT'S IT, MR. SQUIDWARD! YOU ARE NOW OFF TEAM KRABS!
Squidward: And I care, why?
Krabs: How dare you steal my girlfriend?!?
Squidward: I thought money was your girlfriend!
Krabs: Yes, but Mrs. Puff comes in second place! And for stealing Mrs. Puff from me... *pulls out flaming sword* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cuts off Squid's head*
Mrs. Puff: I'M IN SECOND PLACE, AM I?!?
Puff: THAT IS IT, EUGENE! *steals his flaming sword* *kills Mr. Krabs with it* *Mrs. Puff looks in Mr. Krabs' pocket* Hey, his will! Let's see...................His money goes to................................................... No one? Well then, I get........................... to TAKE OVER TEAM KRABS?!?
Bubble Buddy: Hey, a flaming sword! *steals the sword from Mrs. Puff* AND you destroyed the leader of Team Krabs!*in dark, demonic voice* join me... NOW...
Mrs. Puff: I'm sorry, but I just don't fell right joining you. You're a sweet man, Bubble Buddy. *pulls out money and offers it to BB*
BB: THAT MONEY-TREATMENT ONLY WORKED ON KRABS! *kills Puff with the sword* Hey, I have no more enemies!
Bubble Buddy: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ATTENTION, FOOLS OF BIKINI BOTTOM! I HAVE COMPLETELY TAKEN OVER YOUR TOWN! NOW... Do stuff for me!!!
*later, at a secret meeting about destroying BB*
Some Guy: That bubble is nothing but trouble!
Some Other Guy: HE POISONED OUR WATER SUPPLY, BURNED OUR CROPS, AND DELIVERED A PLAUGUE ONTO OUR HOUSES!!!
Everyone else: HE DID?!?
Some Other Guy(the same one before everyone started talking): NO!!! BUT ARE WE JUST GONNA WAIT HERE UNTIL HE DOES?!?
Some Guy: LET'S DESTROY THE BUBBLE!!!
Squidward: Sure, why not?
*everyone pulls out a needle*
Narrator: Later...
*they arrive to Bubble Buddy's hide-out*
Bubble Buddy: WHAT THE FUDGE?!? HOW DID YOU FIND OUT MY HIDE-OUT?!?
Patrick: I read newspapers... Well, they're read to me...
BB: ALRIGHT, FOOLS!!! *pulls out flaming sword* *kills Tom(whoever he is...)* *kills other people until they're army went from 187 people to 36*
Bubble Buddy: HEY, YOU! YEAH, YOU!
ManRay: WHUTCHOO WANT, FOOL?!?
BB: GIMME SOME PANCAKES!!!
ManRay: GRR... *mumble* *mumble*
BB: HEY, WHERE'S THE SYRUP?!? YER FIRED!!!
ManRay: FINALLY!-- Um... I mean... I'm sorry...
BB: Yer sorry? Well, okay, you're still on the team!
ManRay: DAMMIT!!!
ManRay: THAT IS IT, YOU UGLY BUBBLE!!!
BB: NO! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?!?
MR: SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE DONE 12 MINUTES AGO!!!*eats BB's pancakes*
BB: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY PANCAKES!!!
Bubble Buddy: YOU FOOL! WITHOUT MY DAILY DOSE OF PANCAKES, I DIE!!!
ManRay: Yeah, I sort of knew that.
BB: FAREWELL, CRUEL WORLD!!!
*Bubble Buddy dies*
*everyone who died in this whole story comes back to life*
Krabs: Hooray! I'm alive!
Pearl: SHUT UP, DAD, WE HATE YOU!!!
The Guy Dressed Up as a Peanut: Aw, ManRay, do you need a hug? You look sad!
ManRay: RETARDED PEANUT! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!
Peanut Guy: Huh. So you are straight. We at Goofy Goober's hired a stripper over here! Sorry kids, but the rest of the night is for adults!
Kids: DAMN YOU, YOU F*CKIN' DUMB-ASS PEANUT, GO ROT IN HELL, WHERE YOU BELONG, YOU B*TCH!!!
Kids' Parents: YOU TELL HIM!!!
Peanut Guy: COME ON IN!!!
*Karen enters the room, in a bikini*
Karen: Hey there, big boy... *thinking*Thank God I'm being paid for this... *talking* Doesn't this bikini really show my fresh harddrive??
Plankton: Hey, Karen, honey, where did you put my ... *notices Karen is with ManRay in a bikini* KAREN!!! HOW COULD YOU?!? AND TOMORROW WAS OUR ANNIVERSARY!!! *runs back to the Chum Bucket, crying*
Karen: FINALLY!!! HE'S OUT OF MY LIFE, FOR GOOD NOW!!!
ManRay: *evil chuckle* *inserts a virus into Karen*
Some Guy who Needs Someone to become a new cooking show host: *enters GG* I need someone to become a new cooking show host!!!
Plankton: OK, I'll be a cooking show host.
Some guy who needs a cooking show host: Sure, why not? You're in...
Krabs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! COOKING SHOW HOSTS MAKE A LOT OF MONEY!!!!!
*Plankton's first episode of "Cooking... with Sheldon"(his cooking show) finally airs*
Plankton(on TV): Okay... Today we're going to make vegetable stew. First, you... uh... well... *thinking* I don't know how to cook! Karen did all the cooking! *talking* We get the vegetables... and chop them up...
*after the first show*
Plankton: Plankton, you were born to act!
Guy Who Hired Plankton: Yeah, uh, you kinda sucked, so we have a replacement.
Patrick: Uhh...
Plankton: You hired... HIM?!?
*On the debut of Cooking With Patrick*
Patrick: Uhh... *whispers* What's my line?
Camera-Guy: I forget.
Patrick: *whispers* Thanks! *normal tone* I forget!
*audience laughs*
Patrick: Today... We're gonna make some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...
Camera Guy: It's grilled Cheese!
Patrick: Oh. Okay. It's grilled cheese!
*audience laughs*
Patrick: OK, I got the cheese... And the grill... so... I put the cheese on the grill! Voila! Grilled Cheese!
Director: OK, uh, yeah, you kinda sucked. Let me check the reviews...
*after reading the reviews*
Mr. Star... Get in here... AT ONCE!!!!!
Patrick: OK.
Director: OK, to the audience "Cooking With Patrick" was funny. We decided to make your TV show a sitcom! Let's see.... Just about everyone in sitcoms has a catchphrase... Let's find you one!
Director: OK, "Cooking With Patrick" didn't go so well, so you've been taken to some other show.
*On the episode of The Simpsons that Patrick joins*
Bart: So, who's the fat guy?
Homer: Here I am.
Marge: Bart! Don't be rude to the new character!
Lisa: Oh! A sea-star! I always wanted to meet one! And it looks like he can breathe, even though he's out of the water!
Patrick: Huh? Oh, yeah... *gasps for breath*
Director: K, that was pretty bad, too. We found another show you could be a part of.
*On the episode of "Family Guy" where Patrick becomes part of the show*
Stewie: Just what we need, another fat person in this household...
Patrick: *starts crying* Fat? *angrily* NOBODY CALLS ME FAT!!! *punches Stewie*
Peter: *goofy giggle*
Director: Yep, yer goin' to a new show.
*on Patrick's try-out on American Idol*
Randy: Yo, dawg, what are you gonna play?
Patrick: Um-
Simon: Yeah, you suck. Get off the stage.
Paula: SIMON, YOU SHUT THE *bleep* UP, YOU HEAR ME, YOU DUMB-ASS B*TCH!!!
Simon: 0__o
Randy: Yo, dawg, you really showed him!
Simon: ALL RIGHT, PAULA, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS SINCE SEASON 1!!! *makes out with Paula* NOW I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Paula: EWW!!! I NEVER LIKED YOU!!! LET ME DO SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO SINCE SEASON 1!!! *makes out with Randy*
Randy: WOAH, DAWG, LEAVE ME OUTTA THIS!!!
Ryan Seacrest: Ohh... This is sure to get some viewers!
Paula: I'VE WANTED YOU TO DIE, EVER SINCE YOU DIDN'T ALLOW WILLIAM HUNG GO THROUGH!!!
Simon: HE SUCKED, RETARD!!!
William Hung: ME CHINESE!!!
Paula: ALRIGHT, NOW!!! *throws Hung at Simon*
Simon: REALLY, NOW... THAT WAS POINTLESS!!! HE'S TINY!!! THROW SOMEONE BIG... Like Randy...
Randy: Oh, God...
Simon: *throws Randy at Paula, killing her* Now, this show will be A LOT better without her.
Patrick: Aw, it's over already?!?
*The ghost of Paula possesses Seacrest*
Seacrest: The women can't stay away from The Seacre--
Possessed Seacrest: SIMON!!!! YOU DA FOO'!!!!! I HATE THE BRITISH!!!!!
Simon: WELL, I HATE AMERICANS!!!!!
Randy: I need to lose some weight...
Possessed Seacrest: SHUSH YO MOUTH, FOO'!!! *grabs Randy, and throws him at Simon* *Simon dies*
Patrick: WE WANT MORE!!!!!!
Patrick: Hey, man, this is pretty good.
Randy: Yeah, dawg, and I'll get my own show, and not have to listen to those two argue! Hey, dude, gimme some of that popcorn!!! *eats popcorn* I'M GETTIN' MY OWN SHOW!!!!!
Squidward: *while watching the episode of American Idol* It could be worse. You could end up living to an overweight starfish and a childish sponge, while working for a greedy boss.Patrick: HEY, FOO'!!! DON'T EAT ALL MY POPCORN!!!
Randy: I'LL EAT WHAT I WANNA EAT, YA HERE ME, HOMIE?!?
Patrick's Director: YOU FIRED, FOO'!!!!!*Squidward enters, for no apparant reason whatsoever*
Squidward: About time he's fired...
Director: I guess I have to go back to the cooking show... *looks at Squidward* YOU!!! BE IN MY COOKING SHOW... *in dark, raspy voice* NOW...
Squidward: Sure, why not?
*Squidward gets a knock on his door, Squidward answers*
Squidward: Hey, you gonna watch my show later? What's your name, too?
Kid: I ain't watching your show. And about my name, in "Krabby Land," my name was Monroe. In "SquidBob TentaclePants," my name was Jimmy. The creators need to remember my name.
Squidward: Watch my show, ok?
Monroe/Jimmy: NEVER!!!!! NEVER!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!! *kicks Squidward in the shin*
Squidward: DAMN YOU, YOU LITTLE B*TCH!!!!!