someone you could never be

i waited at the entrance
i waited for you at the door
she says
why are you going there?
what are you looking for?
the floor
swims beneath my feet and we
reach the elevator
i should’ve listened to her
first
second
four more
stories rising
it’s not surprising
when you ask me
why else would you be here?
red
fever
flush
across my cheeks
you catch my mouth and
kiss me deep
why did i come here?
why else would you call?
your arms wrap around me
i’m reminded that i’m
small
weak
powerless against your
strength
your
teeth
you’re
hurting me
i try to say
my nails down your back
you
relax
unclench unclasp
me
like a broken locket
something once so pretty
something full of special things
at least you said so
princess yeah?
who deserved to be treated
like a fucking queen?
well you fucked the queen
then laughed and said it was
too bad
you were so mean
i agreed
i stood and looked upon you and
agreed
i’m still agreeing as i
cover up the bruises
i agree
when i’m recalling
you grabbing my hair
my falling to
my knees
i agree
when your eyes flash gold and angry
when you squeeze my hand and maybe
it’s too tight
yes i agree
when you threaten to lay your hands on me
i agree
that it’s too bad
that you
are so
damn
mean
today i vow to stop the cycle
today i vow to give up you
today i change positions
today i find a new view
for i deserve something better
i deserve a piece that fits
i deserve a man
a real man
and you are anything
but this