How to feel

I don't know what to say
I don't know how to feel
Knowing I have to keep my heart guarded so it can heal
knowing it will be locked away never to be given
i am so tired of this pain that says I am living
why bother to give my heart knowing it will be shattered
leaving it left on the ground torn and tattered
leaving me to pick up these tiny pieces of that heart
knowing deep down i should have never even started
so i'll keep my heart guarded well with care
never again to let someone use or have to share
never will i let it feel this false feeling of a pretend love
just to have it knocked around or shoved
I don't need nor want this kind of love.